Page 81 of Monsters of Desire and Nightmares of Passion

Mrez shakes his head and tentacles. His image shifts and twitches, something he did when especially upset or sad. He heard my thoughts. They had travelled through our shared connection.

“You don’t mean it, Draw.”

“Yes, I do. We’ll bring Ivy home, leave her with Lisa, and get in touch with The Church. Do you still have the coordinates?”

“Yes, but it’s a stupid plan. They’ll erase us.”

“You can stay behind if you want. This is my responsibility and my sacrifice. I understand if you don’t want to be part of this.”

Mrez shakes his head. “You know I’ll follow you to the end.”

He kisses Ivy.

My heart is filled with love for them. The idea of giving up on all this hurts so badly. It’s a pain that slices deep into my core. If I could, I would howl in pain and despair, but I must keep it together. Despite everything, I must act as if I’m strong and in charge.

The fact I’m willing to end my existence doesn’t bother me so much as losing Ivy again. However, she’s right. The idea of confronting The Church of Light and saving the remaining Shadows is crazy. We had pushed her into something that made her unhappy, and that might even kill her. I swore I’d do anything necessary to protect her, anything to keep her safe, yet all I did was put her in danger. Khal gave his life for her and is now being devoured by the dark forces of demented Shadows who swallowed his spirit and ripped him into pieces.

He will never return.

My mate.

I will soon join him.

I detect whispers from other Shadows too cowardly to join our fight. If they had even the slightest will to live, to exist, to have a purpose, then everything would be so different, but they don’t. Instead, they crawl on their bellies in dirt, happy to be the bottom feeders of the cosmos.

The Anomaly is not to blame. I am. She only stepped up because I walked away. She took my place. Female Shadows are rare, there being maybe one in a generation. If I could, I would even ask her for help, but I know the moment my sister saw me she’d have her army tie me down and chop me into pieces, just to throw my leftovers into an active volcano.

The portal flickers, a sign we don’t have much time to get through it.

I had hoped that The Healer, my damn brother, would be on our side, recognize my royal blood, and agree to my request. All he did was call me and my ideas worthless. He said Shadows don’t fight and, if it pleases The Dark Lord to erase us, who are we to fight against him. My feeling is that they’re more scared of The Anomaly than of The Dark Lord.

Fury rises inside me, but it is of no use. No matter how angry I become, I am only one warrior, and I cannot defeat an army alone.

“We need to jump.”

The portal appears like a bleeding scar in the night. Orange and red lights move inside it, hungry, snapping for food.

Mrez is the first to step inside. I follow with Ivy in my arms.

This time we appear next to her childhood home. We don’t need to take the dark subways anymore. I’m thankful to The Healer for this small favor.

It’s night and we can move around. Sunlight is not good for us. It burns us and weakens us for days.

We enter the house in silence to find Lisa playing with the cat. The young ghost learned a few tricks and moved objects, much to the fat cat’s delight. The cat jumps and runs, hisses and hunts. Velvet floats next to us, meowing and barking sadly.

Lisa sees us and floats over. “Hey, guys. What happened to Ivy?”

Ivy rests in my arms, naked, dirty, and pale. “She’s going to be fine. We had a difficult trip.”

“Can I do something?” Concern is painted on Lisa’s face.

“Not now, but maybe you can make her a cup of tea later. I’ll put Ivy to bed. She needs rest. After that, she should feel better.”

“Where’s Khal?”

I just nod. A change comes over the specter’s facial expression.

“Fuck no. Don’t tell me Grabby died.”

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