Page 33 of Monsters of Desire and Nightmares of Passion

My self uses her sword to attack the men who tried to go after other girls. Emily is by her side, wielding a weapon that almost appears medieval.

“Stay away from the green arrows. They’re tipped with Lycan grass.”

One of the Shadows I identify as Emily’s love, Griz, calls out as he lifts a piece of scrap metal to use as a shield. Griz is a snake-type looking monster with long tentacles in place of arms and a long snake body that he wrapped around Emily to protect her. Her other Shadow, Zolan, stands behind her, making sure he has her back.

Everything happens so fast. I jump in the middle of it, trying to help my younger self and her best friend, only to feel them walk through me. It’s only a memory yet feels so vivid because, damn, I’m seeing it for the first time. But I was there and fought side to side with them.

The brutally of the fight forces me to close my eyes. Blood is spilled and more and more of my friends die. Somehow, I feel this memory sipping inside my soul and hate it.

The next time I spot Griz, Emily’s monster gets killed. He’s wrapped around her, hissing and ready to attack, holding up the metal as shield. Two of his tentacles wield swords and push back enemies. Each of the sworded hands fights in a different rhythm and against another attacker. I’m having a hard time following the action. Suddenly, I get the sensation that the universe is moving in slow motion.

Emily is defending herself against a burly-looking man wrapped in Kevlar. He gains more terrain toward her. Griz uses one of the tentacles to push him back, helping her to regain the upper hand. Griz’ eyes are on the two men he fought. The man on the ground takes a knife out of his boot and sticks it deep into Griz’ tentacle. The roar that leaves Griz’ chest fills the space around us. It hurts me to watch the pain in his eyes. He was about to say something to Emily, but the green poison works fast. Griz shudders and falls. The pain on Emily’s face as she realizes her lover is dead turns into steely determination. She roars and slices apart the man who killed her Shadow with a violence that is no longer human.

Zolan pulls Emily close and tries to protect her, but she dives desperately toward Griz’ body, who lays there bleeding thick, black goo. I watch his eyes dying as they lose their red flaming shine. Emily makes a fatal mistake. Blinded by grief, she runs like crazy to her dead lover’s body. She knows he’s dead but refuses to accept it. In that moment, I feel so incredibly happy that my Shadows are alive. Each of them is dear to me. I would have given my life to make sure they were fine.

The fight continues, but Emily is in a trance. She jumps to attack another opponent when a sword plunges deep into her chest. She ignores it and pushes on, her dagger crashing into the man’s neck. She finally glances down with an expression of surprise at the sword sticks in her, as if she noticed something was wrong. A growing spot of blood stains her shirt.

“Noooo.” Both me and my younger self call out at the same time.

My call of pain and loss mixes with Zolan’s, who throws himself between his mate and the next man who attempts to make sure she’s dead.

At that moment, I’m yanked out of the memory.

I hurt. Everything hurts. My body shakes painfully but I’m still alive. I now know who I am and who my friends are. Everything is crystal clear, like the bluish-green lake next to the house I grew up in.

Instead of being frightened of the monstrous face that waits for me, I’m grateful to see Khal in physical form. My body aches and I’m having a hard time breathing, but pain is merely a way to show that the body is alive, and that my Shadows will stay with me until the end.

Khal does his best to hold me, using all six arms to stop me from shaking. His tongue flicks over my neck and lips, trying to calm me down. His face is close to me.

“Ivy, just hold on. Hold on a little bit longer. He’s coming. I know you don’t remember me, but I know you. You’re the strongest woman I’ve ever had the pleasure to know. Please, my love. Don’t die. Hang on. I’ll share my essence with you.”

I so wish I could speak, but whatever Pegg gave me makes talking difficult. All I can do is mumble. My body cramps. Each muscle hurts so bad, but the pressure on my bones feels so much worse, as if my bones would snap at the slightest touch. My chest burns with the need for air, but my breath is barely there.

I shake.

I hurt.

A scream catches inside my chest. I can’t die now. Not after remembering who the guys are and how much they mean to me.

I try to say the words, but speaking is such an extraordinary difficult task. My face contracts, my teeth clatter, my tongue refuses to do my bidding, and even keeping my eyes open feels like a crazy task.

“Kkkk... hal. Khal.”

Saying his name means so much to me. I want him to know that I remember, and that I called out to the others. I want him to know that no matter what is going on, I’ll never allow anyone to separate me from my memories and my shadows again.

6

Draw

There’s another body on the floor. A middle-aged woman lays there, dead. Blood runs from her savaged neck. This is Khal’s work. When he starts killing, he does it thoroughly. I’m still angry with Khal for disobeying me and hope he won’t challenge me again. I don’t want to kill him, but I’m ready to if necessary.

I look around, trying to understand what pulled me to Ivy’s workplace. I detect her scent, only it’s off, laced with fear and something else. I find Ivy on the nurses’ station desk, pale, her skin covered in sweat and shaking violently. Foam covers her sweet lips.

How is it possible for me to be here? Only she can do this. Only she can summon us out of our prison and give us enough energy to be in human reality.

I can’t take my eyes off her. My hands shake. I’m afraid to touch her. Khal is with her, bursting with power as he holds her close to his chest, his red eyes blazing. This is something that he can’t solve by killing anyone. It’s easy to read the helplessness in his eyes. No matter what, we’re a unit, brothers. Even if I want to break his neck now and then, there’s no one else I’m as deeply attuned with as these guys.

“Do something.” Khal yells at me, his eyes fuming with anger. “Draw, she remembered me. She called me by my name. She’s back. She’s our Ivy. We can’t lose her now, not like this.”

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