Page 16 of Monsters of Desire and Nightmares of Passion

Why was I almost afraid to admit I knew his name? Khal.

Draw.

Khal.

Mrez

I wasn’t aware until now that Mrez can’t speak. Probably because they look different each time but have the same vibe about them. I must be crazy.

My phone beeps inside my jacket and I leave my bed to check it. Pegg has this annoying habit of sending me pieces of news for me to read. What does she want me to read this time?

Powder jumps over my phone and lays on his favorite pillow.

As I click on the message, I see. The news is full of the story.

Young woman found dead. Probably murdered.

The newscasters always have a way of exaggerating everything and Pegg buys everything the news says. Thinking the story might have been about me, I combed the Internet for more information. There’s nothing. No crime, no fire, no accident. Nothing that can connect my face or soul to a family. I always feel like a leaf, floating around in the wind. Books are my only anchor.

Taking care of people who are at least as broken or lost as me gives me a sense of belonging. The clinic, the people, the staff, even the patients are my family.

And the monsters? They’re my lovers even if I don’t want to admit it.

My finger moves over the screen as I reply to Pegg.

Me: It’s probably some junkie they found dead. Poor girl. I think they’re exaggerating everything.

Pegg: No, sweetie. The girl was a nurse. It’s the fifth nurse they found dead in a short time. I’m worried about you. And honestly, I’m scared myself.

Me: We’ll be fine. No one touches the nurses from psych.

It's a lame thing to say, but what could I tell her? That I’m more afraid of what’s hidden inside my own mind than I am of some serial killer?

Large cities always attract serial killers. You can’t be a serial killer in a small village.

Another message popped up, this time from Dr. Martin.

Please let me know that you got home OK. Sorry for the intrusion. With the killer on the loose, I’m worried about you.

Oh, God. Did Pegg get to him and fill his head with that killer nonsense?

Yes, I’m home and I’m OK. Ty for asking.

I should be grateful someone asks about me. Instead, I feel annoyed.

I turn my phone on silent, pop a sleeping pill, hug my cat, and close my eyes. It’s time for me to get a few hours of rest.

DREW

“You reek of her. How I envy you.”

Khal sniffs me. I push him aside. He’s ready to give up on Ivy, on our anchor for a fast meal and the chance of connecting to that young woman who has the sight and who maybe is willing to feed us and become our plaything in exchange for the security we provide. As soon as we connect with someone, we shield that person from the horrors of the world, horrors a human can’t survive unless they have a broken mind.

We try and keep Ivy safe. As it was, even after years of being able to feed on the small drops of lust we pick up from Ivy’s dreams, I’m still not ready to give up on her.

“You won’t ever give up on her,” Khal growls the words between clenched teeth and almost spits them in my direction.

“Why is it so easy for you to forget about Ivy and give up on her?”

---