Page 70 of Beautiful Dark Temptation

“It’s me, Moms. Tomás.”

She sat up, ran her hand down her face witha grunt. Her hair, usually a healthy set of brown curls like mine,was a tangled mess. Her face gaunt, eyes sunken, skin pale. Thenshe took me all in. I hadn’t changed much, I don’t think. When Igot to the airport, I had bought a couple of hoodies I now wore,some cheap running shoes too. I still wore the joggers Kieran hadlent me. But she must’ve saw something that made her angry.

She got to her feet and I straightened. Shewas a lot shorter than me. Maybe up to my chin. She’d thinned outmore since the last time I saw her, but she still had this powerover me. As if her nearness sucked out all my strength because Icouldn’t even move.

She snorted. “You look well,” she said. Hervoice ruined by the drugs sounded raspy. “I guess your brotherstepped up for you, huh. Had to killmyson but gotyou.”

I sucked in air.My brother?“What?What do you mean?”

She waved her hand, face pinched. “Itdoesn’t matter no more. Is he here? Did he finally get tired ofyou?”

I swallowed back the confusion. “I, uh, waswondering, maybe I can come back.” My voice sounded so small.

“What? Your pretty face not good enough forhim? Is he going to pay me to take you back?”

I couldn’t breathe. My chest felt too tight.I knew she said those things to get a rise out of me. She had to beconfused about Maddox being my brother. “Maybe I can get a job andhelp you out. We can get a better place. You can go to treatment.”I knew I said the wrong thing because her eyes narrowed. Her lipsbecame two thin lines on her face.

I had always wondered why Dad had hooked upwith her in the first place. None of the other moms were junkies.Daniel and I hadn’t come out as drug babies. It had to mean that atone time she’d been clean. But the look on her face now felt like aknife through my heart. I knew what she intended to do and Icouldn’t stop her. I felt small. The kid used as a punching bag.The one that she hated because I couldn’t be good. Not even thefirst time she sold me. I fought, but I could never fight her.

The slap stung. My ear rang and my lipstarted to swell. “How dare you! You think you’re better than him!You are nothing but a worthless whore! You don’t need this prettyface if you aren’t going to use it.”

I couldn’t stop shaking my head. She slappedand pulled my hair. I felt my lip bust, her nails scratch againstmy skin, drawing blood. I couldn’t stop her. I couldn’t fight back.I stood frozen with her screams and cries in my face. Her handslanding blow after blow. I let her because in some dark part of meI thought I deserved it.

I couldn’t. I couldn’t. I couldn’t.

It's all that flittered through my mind. Icouldn’t do anything.

Finally, she was yanked away from me. Iopened my eyes, taking shallow breaths.

I saw her struggling with Mads. He had herwrists in his tight grip. “Enough!” That deep, thick voiceordered.

“You ruined my life!” she yelled in his faceand spat at him. “Devil’s spawn. I should’ve drowned you when I hadthe chance! You killed him!You!”

Their argument shifted somewhere darker,faded away. My brain rushing through nonsense words. Shit that madeno sense. My brother. Maddox was my brother. My brain shortcircuited.

I couldn’t. I couldn’t. I couldn’t.

The words tumbled out of my brain.Icouldn’t.

Mom was sobbing somewhere.

Someone cupped my face. “Tomás, look atme.”

“I couldn’t. I couldn’t.” My mouth moved. Isaid words I couldn’t hear.

“Son, look at me,” the ordersplintered the wall I’d lifted around my mind.

I blinked. My mouth stopped moving. Theimage in front of me cleared. “Mads,” I whispered. My body felt sodamn drained. I smiled and that hurt too. “I think. I think. Idon’t want to stay anymore.”

My legs crumbled under me and the last thingI remembered was Mad Dog carrying me back to the car.

Chapter Thirty-Three

Tomás

“I guess your brother stepped up for you,huh. Had to kill my son but got you.”

I turned the words over and over in my headas Mad Dog drove. I couldn’t remember walking out of the house,getting in the car. I breathed into the window and drew a smileyface. “The city is so cold,” I said, watching the urbanneighborhood rush past me. “It’s always so cold.”

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