Page 69 of Beautiful Dark Temptation

“I should’ve brought something to dig with,”I said, feeling so stupid.

“I think this is the right way to doit.”

I thought so too.

We dug a few inches into the ground andplaced the rings inside the small hole. Then we filled it back upand smoothed everything out. After we finished, we got to our feet.“Where are you heading?” Nick asked, taking my hand in his. Nickdidn’t mind the touching stuff. I guess I didn’t either.

“My moms.”

Nick knew my mom wasn’t like his, but shewas still my mom. “If it doesn’t work out, you can always stay withmy mom. I always visit for break. And you know how much she lovesyou.”

I laughed. Nick usually got into troublewhenever I’d been around as kids. His mom didn’t hate me, but sheoften swatted us whenever she had a chance. His grandmother,though, she was really nice. But Nick’s mom wasn’t mine. And themention of it reminded me how different we were. I couldn’t bringmy shit to his house. “Nah, I think I’m good, but maybe a visitsometime. Maybe during summer break.”

He smiled. “I’d like that. And calls, ortexts, whatever, just contact me, yeah?” He had a hopeful lilt tohis voice when he said it.

“Yeah, I’d like that, too.”

We hugged again and then he walked away. Iwatched him get into a small car with one of his high schoolfriends and then they drove off. Maddox was still behind me.Looming.

I breathed in the cold air and drew thesmile to my face. “Well, Mads, I didn’t expect you here.”

He quirked a brow. Not amused. “I’m notsurprised since you ran away.”

I swatted the air. “Blah, ran away sounds sojuvenile. I’m a big boy now.”

His expression didn’t change.

“How’d you find me?” I toned down myvoice.

“Cellphones are traceable.”

“Right. Good to know. Are you here to dragme back?”

“You’re myson. I’m here to make sureyou’re okay and don’t need me to drag you back.”

The word son while standing on my father’sgrave stung. He didn’t take it back, though. I kicked at the dirt.“I’m not going back.”

I lifted my eyes to him. Still, stonestatue, showed nothing.

“I want to go to my moms’.” Once the wordswere out, I couldn’t put them back. Fear laced every syllable. Ifhe caught it, he didn’t mention it.

He nodded. “I’ll drive you there.”

I followed behind him to his car and hedrove me to my moms’ place. It looked just as I remembered it. Aseries of trailers like shipping containers. Ours had been thethird lot. The outside in need of a paint job, the stairs chippedin places, and the windows were filmy. A couple of lawn chairs satjust in front where Daniel and I used to shoot the breeze. We hadlived on this same lot until I turned thirteen and Daniel hadturned eighteen. It’s when he decided he wanted to move near Dad.He took his vows. Mom couldn’t afford much, not when she putwhatever she got from Dad up her nose instead of using it for rent,so we had followed Daniel.

“Are you sure about this?” Maddox asked.

“As opposed to what?” I snapped back,angrier than I thought I could be. “Live with the person who killedmy family? Go back to prison?”Have my heart shanked every dayby Kieran. I got out of the car. For a moment, I wanted him tostop me. To say no, I’ll protect you. I’m sorry for killing Daniel.Something. But he didn’t say anything. And I walked away.

I climbed the stairs and turned the knob,not surprised that it easily opened. I walked inside. My eyes hadto adjust to the dim light. The stench of garbage and mold burnedthrough my nose. I couldn’t help but remember Jack’s place. Hismother dead in the kitchen. OD’d. He’d been so angry for what lifehad given him. I was angry too, but the guilt and sadness overtookmy anger. The needy part of me wanted her to change, to love me, toapologize for hating me. I wanted her to love me the way she hadloved Daniel. The way my dad had loved Nick.

The house was warm. She always had thefurnace going strong.

She was lying on the sofa, her head on thearmrest. Eyes closed, breathing deep. It was close to 2:00 in theafternoon. She usually didn’t get up until after 3:00. And later inthe winters. For a moment, I considered leaving. She was alive.It’s what I came for. She would be okay without me. As okay as shewould ever be. I could take Nick’s offer. His mom was nice. I knewshe’d take me in if Nick asked her to. But what if whateverhappened at the cabin followed me to Nick’s. I had a contract outon me. What if Nick or his family got hurt because of me. Iwouldn’t be able to live with myself if that ever happened.

Also, a part of me wanted her to see me. Shewas my mother. We couldn’t choose our family, but we could helpthem. I brushed my fingers across her hairline. She felt warm, likethe room.

“Daniel?” she said and blinked open hereyes.

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