Page 32 of Guard

“I was afraid I would not see you again.” Rixx stepped closer to her. “There is so much I need to say to you, so much I wanted to say before—“

“You don’t need to say anything.” Myrria was afraid that if he said something sweet to her she might break down. “Last night never should have happened. I should not have acted like a free woman when I wasn’t.”

Rixx’s brow furrowed. “He had been gone for all of Zala’s life. He did not deserve anything after abandoning you and your daughter.”

“Maybe not, but he’s back now. I can’t turn him out onto the street.”

“Why not?” Rixx’s gaze flashed dangerously, and I sensed that he would like to bodily throw Tobert from a tall building. “You told me that he was a bad husband. He was unfaithful. He left you. You do not owe him anything.”

“You don’t understand.” Myrria’s voice cracked. “It doesn’t matter how bad he is or what he did. This is Kurril. Men are not punished for cheating or leaving. It is only women who pay a price for that. No matter what I feel about him or how much I wish he had never returned, I am legally bound to him. That means he has power over me and over Zala.” Bile churned in her gut. “If he wanted to punish me, he could take Zala and no one would stop him.”

“I would stop him.” The look in Rixx’s eyes was murderous.

Myrria’s heart twisted again. “I know. And that would only get you in trouble. You are lucky to have survived this long without being caught by the Zevrians.” She took a step back. “I cannot be the reason they find you.”

“Myrria,” he started to argue but she held up a hand.

“I am married to that man and Zala is his daughter. Those are the only facts that matter.” She took a deep breath. “You need to leave the planet as soon as possible and pretend that you never met either of us.”

He narrowed his eyes, and she could feel the rage storming inside him. “I cannot do that.”

“Please,” she begged. “No one can ever know that you were in my house. No one can ever know that you were in my bed.” She shuddered to think what Tobert would do to her if he ever heard even the faintest whiff of a rumor. “If you ever cared for either ofus, you need to leave this place behind and leave us in the past.” She locked eyes with him. “We never happened.”

Rixx grunted and tore his gaze from hers. His body was so tense she thought he might snap as he clenched his fists and stared into the fire. When he looked back, his expression was shuttered. She could see nothing of the fervor that had blazed in his eyes. She could feel none of the torment that had pulsed off him. “If that is what you want.”

The coolness of his words was like icy water poured over her head. “It’s whats best for both of us.”

He nodded, turning away and walking to the fire. He braced his hands on the wooden mantle, his knuckles going white. “You will tell Zala goodbye from me?”

Myrria’s throat closed as tears stung the backs of her eyes. She bobbed her head up and down even though he couldn’t see her. “I will.”

Rixx gave a single nod but kept his gaze pinned to the fire. Myrria rushed from the room before the tears fell, stumbling past the staggering patrons being led to rooms and the brightly painted females dancing up and down the stairs as the music thrummed relentlessly.

She was sure she’d done the right thing, the only thing. She was also sure that she had just walked away from the only true love she’d ever experienced.

Chapter

Thirty-Two

Rixx made his way down the stairs, stepping lightly even though every door was shut tight and the raucous sounds of merriment had dwindled to only the faint hum of music and the occasional hiccup. He’d promised to stay hidden, but after tossing and turning most of the night, he needed to leave the small room, even if it was only to walk around the interior of the house.

Not that walking would cure anything. He’d tried downing the rest of his ale after Myrria had left and that had done little to dull the ache in his heart. He knew that she was right, but that didn’t make losing her hurt less.

“It’s over,” he told himself as he reached the bottom of the stairs and scanned the evidence of the previous night’s entertaining.

A couple of females were slowly clearing glasses from tables, moving silently around slumped, snoring bodies. He suspected that Velen would be in charge of removing the stragglers at a certain point, and he was sure one toothy smile from her would snap them from the deepest slumber.

He wove his way through the tables, settees, and piles of cushions until he found an alcove with fabric draped around the intimately grouped, low chairs. Then he sat so that he had a view of the deserted room, breathing in the scent of extinguished candles and spilled booze.

Although Rixx wasn’t trapped in his small room, sitting in the larger space did not do much to improve his mood. It only served to remind him that he was still trapped in the outlaw city, but now he was no longer with Myrria and Zala. He might not have known them for long, but they had felt like family to him.

And now he would never see them again.

His heart seized, a physical pain making him touch a hand to his chest. How was it that one night could have tied him so deeply to the female? He had spent nights with females before, but never had he felt the instant connection that he had with Myrria. Never had he felt a female’s emotions. Never had he heard their thoughts.

Because they were not the one. She is.

Rixx shook his head brusquely, banishing this thought. It did not matter what he felt or heard. It did not even matter if he was sure Myrria was his one true mate, his mind mate. It did not matter if she was not free to be his and if she refused to be with him. He could not force her to feel what he did, even though he was sure she felt it too.

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