Page 90 of Healer's Call

“I cannot stand you.” Her words are forced through grit teeth.

“The feeling’s mutual.” And then because I know just how to push her buttons, I add, “Kind of feel bad for Bryce.”

Her face turns a dark shade of red, and I wonder if her heart’s going to explode. “Do you think you two could stop going at it for just today?”

I whirl around at the sound of Rose’s voice. My eyes scan her, narrowing on the red marks around her neck. Before I can stop it, a growl sounds from deep in my chest. Her gaze meets mine, but I don’t see any fear there. Only resignation. That makes me frown, and so does the fact that she’s already showered and dressed for the day.How long has she been awake?

“What do we know?” she asks, looking over at Cade. My heart tightens at the question being directed at my alpha instead of me, and I take the opportunity to study her. There’s something off. I’ve seen every side of her, but this is a new one. It’s almost like she’s...given up. Something about that doesn’t sit right in my chest. I will her to look at me, but she never does. She stares at Cade as he explains what we know, which is a big fat nothing. When Cade finishes, Rose nods.

“I’m going to make my rounds and then I’ll be back.”

I walk towards her, intent on accompanying her and keeping her safe like I promised. But she puts up a hand when I get close. “You don’t need to come with me.” I stare after her as she walks away. A sick feeling forms in my stomach as she and the blonde healer leave the room.

“All right,” Cade says. “We’re going to do a deep dive on Jacob. I want to know everywhere he’s gone in the last month.I want to know every interaction he’s had, who he’s spent time with, what he’s done with his free time. And I especially want to know if he’s gone into town at all.”

I war with the decision to go with Rose to make sure she’s protected or stay here to figure out what happened. In the end, I let Rose be. As much as I hate it, maybe the time away from me will help her come around. Only the top enforcers know what’s going on, so we spend the entire day around the table in the meeting room pouring over every detail of Jacob’s life over this last month. Using the security cameras, check-ins with the shifters on security, and details from his best friend, we’re able to paint a picture of the last month of Jacob’s life.

“We need to take a break,” Cade says, pushing away from the table. I glance at my watch and realize it’s after nine in the evening. The day has completely disappeared. I push back from the table, intent on tracking down Rose. “Mav,” Cade says, stopping me. I give him an impatient look. “We’re going to have to talk to Rose next.”

“Yeah.” I figured. We have no leads. We’re going to have to dig into every interaction he had with her, much as I hate that with everything in me.

Amber comes into the room and makes a beeline for her mate. “You okay?” she asks softly. I walk quickly toward the door to give them privacy.

Once I’m in the hallway, I make a beeline for my mate’s room. I knock on her door. After a minute or two, I turn away, wondering where she would be at this time of night. Then I make my way through the building and up to the blonde healer’s room. I knock impatiently. When she doesn’t answer, I knock harder. “She’s not in there,” a voice says. I turn to see Sara standing there. “She left today.”

I stare at my packmate and remind myself to be kind to her because she’s one of Rose’s friends. “What?” It comes out a little harsher than I realized.

She takes a small step backwards. “She went back to the Northwoods Pack today. Their alpha sent his beta and his mate to come get her. She left about three o’clock this afternoon. She-”

I leave her talking behind me as my stomach drops. I run down the stairs and back down the hallway. I get to Rose’s room and break the lock to get into her room. I step inside and walk around her room. Her bed is stripped bare. I stare at it as a sound escapes my lips. I stalk into the bathroom and pull open the cabinet doors.Empty.I fling back the shower curtain, but there’s nothing in there. I walk back out and stare at her empty room and close my eyes as it hits me. The emptiness in her eyes. The hopelessness. A sick feeling wells up, and my wolf howls inside me. My eyes burn, and my swallow is painful.She’s gone.I tip my head up to the ceiling. I’ve had one good thing in my life, and that was Rose. She’s the only good thing that I’ve ever had that was mine or could have been mine, and I couldn’t even keep that. I realize for the first time in my life just how broken and messed up I really am. I drop onto the end of her bed and drop my head into my hands as every sarcastic comment I made to her runs through my head. All the times I could have told her what she meant to me...I never did. I didn’t think I could. She was too good for me; she still is.

A picture of my sister’s face runs through my mind, and my stomach tightens in response. I’ve never been able to protect those I love the most. Why would Rose be any different? And then it hits me.Love.I stand to my feet.I can’t love Rose. I shake my head. The healer’s soft smile plays in my mind, and I shake my head.No,I growl, a growl that’s all my own and not my wolf’s. Because I realize in that moment, that I did what I wasn’t supposed to do. I fell for the gentle healer. Her smile, herlaugh, her gentle ways, her ability to never see fault in anybody, her tender spirit, her ability to cry at the drop of a hat, her tender conscience, her determination not to give in, in spite of everything she’s been through...It hits me like a ton of bricks.I love the healer.Then another thought follows on its heels.And now I’ve lost her.

I'm not sure how long I spend in Rose’s room. Finally, I pick myself up and drag myself to my room. I close the door to my room and lean against my door for a moment, feeling like I’ve aged twenty years in a day. I take a deep breath and freeze. I take another breath. I let my wolf’s vision take over, and I stare in earnest at my bed...at the small lump on the right side of the bed. The lump moves and then sits up. “Mav?” the most beautiful voice in the world says.

My heart stops. And then restarts again, and I realize that it’s no longer my own heartbeat. It beats for Rose now. Only for her.

Chapter 43

Rose

I’ve been dozing, unable to sleep deeply. When I hear the door open, a sigh escapes me. Mav is finally here. “Mav?” When he doesn’t move from the door, I wonder if something’s wrong. I give him another minute and then sit up. “I couldn’t stay one more night in my room...alone,” I say uncertainly. “You told me I should be in here, and I wanted to go somewhere where I felt safe. But maybe I shouldn’t have...”

He doesn’t say a word, and then suddenly he’s in the bed with me. His arms wrap around me and he holds me so tight I can’t breathe. “You stayed.” His voice is gruff and hinged with something that sounds a lot like desperation. I try to turn, and he has to loosen his hold so I can.

“Mav, are you okay?”

He pushes the hair back from my face. I can see him from the light of the moon. “You stayed,” he says again. I’m confused. “You didn’t leave me.”

And then it hits me. “Oh. You mean because Ava left?” I ask softly.

His eyes search mine, and I see the presence of his wolf. He seems so anxious and emotional. Mav is never emotional. “I thought you left me.” His voice is so sad. Tears form in my eyes because I know this isn’t the adult Mav saying this right now. This is the young boy crying out because he doesn’t have anybody. I know because like calls to like.

I reach out and run my hand down his strong jaw. “No, Mav. I didn’t leave you.” I pause, wondering if I should say what I want to say. There’s no guarantee he’ll say it back. There’s noguarantee he’ll want me. But I know in this moment, I have a choice. I can choose not to love him because of fear of him not loving me in return, or I can put it all out there. I can choose to love him, even if he never loves me in return. I mean, that’s what love is, isn’t it? It’s putting your heart on the line, not knowing whether it will be rejected or cherished. I can choose to love him and not because of anything he can do for me in return. It’s Mav; I’m not sure he’s capable of anything in return. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve my love. I take a deep breath. “And I’m never going to...if you don’t want me to.” My voice is so soft; it took every ounce of courage I have to say those words. The air seizes in my lungs while I wait for him to respond.

He reaches out and puts his large hand on the side of my face. “I don’t want you to.” His voice is deep. I close my eyes and smile because that’s enough. I feel a featherlight touch on my forehead and then on each of my cheeks, my nose, my chin. A tear drips from the corner of my eye.

“I thought I lost you,” his voice isn’t steady. “I thought you were gone before I had a chance to tell you.”

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