Page 71 of Healer's Call

He scoffs. “Yeah, when you had like six shifters on guard to watch your back.”

“I’m not doing this with you.” I turn my back on him.

“Yeah, because you’d rather slink away than have to deal with confrontation,” he says.

“What do you want from me, Maverick?” I demand as I whirl around to face him.

“I want you to fight with me,” he says, stepping close. “I want to see fire in your eyes. I want you to act like you’re alive. I want you to actually live life! Do something besides hiding away and wasting your life.”

My eyes water. “I heal members of this pack every single day!”

“Yeah. Here. Inside the safety of the pack. Doing what you have to do. Have you done anything for fun since you got here?”

I snort. “Like you’re Mr. Fun. All you do is fight with people and cause problems.”

He steps closer. “At least I’m living.”

I meet his eyes. “No. You’re existing too. If you were really living, you wouldn’t be running away from this thing between us.”

His eyes widen, and I can tell I’ve shocked him. I can’t honestly believe I said it myself, but he makes me so mad. “I’m not running away,” he growls in a low voice.

“Hate to break it to you, Mav. That's exactly what you’re doing. You rarely engage with members of your own pack. You risk getting hurt or worse by fighting in that fight club because you don’t want to deal with life. So, you may think I’m not really living, but guess what? You’re not either! I don’t know what it was like to lose your sister, but...”

“You’re right.” His voice is harsh and whips over me. “Youdon’tknow.”

“Because you won’t tell me!” I raise my voice at him. “You say all these things about me, how I’m broken.”

“I didn’t say that,” he butts in but I ignore him.

“How I don’t really live life, how I’m wasting my life. Well, you know what, Maverick? I think it takes one to know one. You’re doing the exact same thing. You’re afraid to really live your life.” A thought hits me, and I go with it. “I think you’re letting your guilt keep you from enjoying anything in this life.”

“That’s enough,” he says in a dangerous voice.

But I’m too far gone to recognize it. “You think that by not really living, you’re somehow making what...penance? Since she’s no longer here to enjoy life, you can’t either? She’s never coming back, Mav. All the suffering in the world that you bring on yourself will never bring her back.”

“Enough!” he bellows. He turns and strides out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

Horror hits me at what I just said, and I crumble to my knees. I put my hand over my mouth as the tears come. I run my hands over my head as silent sobs pour out. Sometime later, when I’ve cried all I can cry, I wrap my arms around my knees and lay my head down on my knees. I’m not sure how long I sit that way before I finally pull myself together and get off the floor andinto bed. I sleep fitfully, never deep enough to stay fully asleep. Hours later, I sit on the side of my bed and watch as sunlight begins to creep across the horizon. When I can’t neglect my duties any longer, I drag myself out of bed and dress for the day.

Chapter 34

Rose

A knock at the door startles me, and I briefly panic.What if it’s Maverick?

“Rose?” I breathe a sigh of relief at the sound of Amber’s voice. I open the door. One look at my face, and her own face falls. “Oh, Rose.”

And just like that, the dam bursts. She closes the door and gathers me into her arms. It’s the most comfort I’ve had in a long time, if ever. I don’t know how long I cry. When I finally pull myself together, she strokes my hair. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Something about her question fills me in. “You already know, don’t you?”

She gives me a sympathetic look. “Shifter hearing,” she says gently.

My shoulders fall. “The whole pack probably heard, didn’t they?”

“No. Just Cade and I because we were at this end when it happened. Well, and the shifters on security.” She looks at me as if debating what to say.

“You can say it. I know I’m a terrible person.”

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