Page 99 of Cougar Point

Vinnie was injured in Fallujah when he accompanied a SEAL team on a mission as their medic. His injury was such that he was put on painkillers. The addiction gene hadn’t missed him. The horrors he saw committed by both sides in Fallujah, coupled with the painkillers, created the depression, PTSD, and paranoia he still experiences to some degree. He’d tried to reach out to Victoria a few years ago when he was in jail.

He’d been sent into war as a naïve eighteen-year-old, witnessed and participated in atrocities, and when it was over he was sent home, dumped out on society, and didn’t know how to live among civilized people. Every time a siren went off, he ducked or dropped to the ground looking for cover. He had night terrors and the Army had made him all better with more drugs, feeding his addiction even further. I’m amazed he didn’t implode with everything that he went through, but he’d made some steps toward recovery. He was going to Narcotics Anonymous meetings but found a veterans group that were as messed up as he was. It seems to be helping.

“I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life in prison. Then Vicki saved me. I’ve never visited her at her house after she was married, but whenever I could get my shit together, we saw each other periodically and she kept me apprised of my nieces. When we got together it was at restaurants and coffee shops and city parks. I thought it was because of my…issues. But then I began to suspect she wasn’t unhappy with me. She didn’t want your father to see me because he disapproved.”

He takes his wallet from his back pocket and pulls some pictures out and shows them to Ronnie. “That’s you and Rebecca water skiing. You couldn’t have been older than ten.” He shows her another. “That’s a picture of your mom and me when Victoria graduated from high school.” He seems lost in reverie. “Your father must have put pressure on her not to see me. He never came with her and I got the hint.”

“Why does my dad want to keep you out of our lives? Did you have a falling out?”

Vinnie doesn’t answer. Instead, he shows her another photo. “That’s me in Army basic training. Vic and I dreamed of getting out of that house so I picked the Army. It’s the only other picture I’ve managed to keep. If Lucas thinks I had anything to do with Vic’s disappearing, he’s wrong. I would be more prone to believe she left Jack on her own. She was very unhappy the last few times I talked to her. She always steered the conversation to how I was doing, or her charity work and how proud she was of her girls. She showed me some newspaper clippings of Rebecca joining Jack’s law firm and one of you in your uniform. Then there were several of you and Detective Carpenter in the newspapers and on television. Vic said she was happy you’d made a life of your own. She loves you and Rebecca very much.”

I’d always thought I had a sucky life. The cause of my bad upbringing was housed in a women’s prison, but Ronnie’s family was still okay-ish and loved her and wanted good things for her and was proud of what she’d accomplished. My mother wasn’t proud of my becoming a detective. Not really. She was only thinking of ways to use me for her benefit. I sincerely doubt she’s proud of Hayden either.

I’d asked Hayden how he was doing now that he was living and working in Port Townsend. He’d said, “The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. I’ve seen and done things I’m not proud of. Being here is no different. You carry your monsters with you.”

He would never tell me what he’d done, what he’d seen. But I can imagine it must have been bad enough to change the happy boy I remembered into a bitter man. It must be the same for Vinnie. I guess we all have things in our past that have made us who or what we are. Sometimes those things are positive, sometimes scarring, sometimes dangerous to others.

My past has followed me with a vengeance. Twice now I’ve had serial killers come after me by harming people close to me. They wanted to kill me because I’d ended someone close to them. I’d hoped to spare Hayden from that but what I thought was the right thing to do concerning him had backfired. Ronnie’s dad was doing the same thing. Trying to mold his girls into what he thought was good for them. He would one day regret trying to design a life for his girls in his own image; pushing his wife’s family out of the picture. I can testify that bad decisions come back and bite you in the ass.

SIXTY-FOUR

Victoria is startled awake by something dropping beside her. She didn’t hear anyone come in.

“Put those on.”

Victoria uses her feet to push herself into a sitting position. She cradles her injured arm against her bare chest and looks up at the slight figure of a woman standing in the doorway.

The woman says, “You don’t have all day. Get dressed. There’s some food in the bag too. Don’t eat the wrapper.”

Victoria recognizes the woman but doesn’t remember her name. If her captors think she can identify them, she won’t get out of here alive. A black trash bag is by her feet. Inside are a blouse and jeans and sandals she had brought to the resort. Underneath the clothes is a sleeve of crackers that have been crushed into crumbs. The woman watches and laughs.

“I know they’re not gourmet crackers, but at least you’ve got your own clothes. Now get dressed or stay naked. I don’t really give a shit.” The woman is holding a bottle of water. She tosses it across the room and leaves.

Victoria retrieves the water and crackers and resists the urge to devour the cracker crumbs. She isn’t going to give this woman the pleasure of seeing how degraded she feels.Awkwardly, still trying to adjust to doing everything with one hand, she struggles into the jeans and top. It seems to take forever, but when she’s finally clothed, she takes a measure of comfort in the feel of personal privacy, of not being subjected to nakedness like an animal. She slips her feet into the sandals. The small feeling of normalcy brings tears to her eyes. Maybe they weren’t going to kill her. Why would they feed her and let her get dressed if they intended to harm her?

Her hunger overcomes her pride, and Victoria sits against a wall tearing the plastic sleeve open with her teeth. She shakes cracker crumbs into her mouth and struggles to get the cap off of the bottle of water. She’d done her best to ration the water that was in the pail, but it is gone. Between gulps of water and cracker she wipes her mouth with the sleeve of her shirt and looks at the stain on the arm of her Ravella silk blouse. Jack had bought the blouse for her on a trip to Rome many years ago to celebrate the opening of his first law firm. The blouse is soft to the touch, and Jack told her it was beautiful, like her, and it matched the color of her eyes.

That was back when he still knew she was alive. Back when he respected her as a partner, a mother, and a wife. Back when he still loved her. He told her Ravella is the Italian word for rebel. He said she was his beautiful Italian rebel and he loved her for being so headstrong. She laughs at the comparison of that woman with this one and tears stream down her cheeks.

She’d kept the blouse even though Jack had told her to get rid of it. He said it was old. She could afford a new one. She’d translated that to mean “she” was old and he could afford a new wife. A prettier one. Maybe one with the spine to stand against him. She’d stopped wearing the blouse in front of him but would never dispose of it. It held remembrances of past happiness. A life full of love.

Victoria wishes the woman had turned the lights off. She doesn’t want to be visible. The only value she has to Jack is that she is his and he will never allow anything to be taken from him.

“Oh, Jack,” she says, and her voice echoes in the emptiness. “What happened to us?”

She loves him and probably always will. If only he still loved her. She vows that if she gets free—when she gets free—things are going to be different. She will become the woman she was before meeting him. Her daughters need to see the strong side of her. They should never be anyone’s property. Ronnie has already made that happen; made her own place, not relying on the family name, not relying on Jack. Rebecca is oldest but slowest to rebel and so, Jacks proudest achievement. He always said he loved both of his daughters the same but that was a lie. If you didn’t do what he thought should be done, he resented you. He had warmed to Ronnie lately, but he still resented her for disobeying him and refusing to study law and join the family business. He didn’t come right out and say it but Ronnie knew it was true. She was intuitive. She’d started coming home less and less over the last few years. But she called her mother and sister in between visits. They were Marsh women. They shared a bond.

As famished as she is, she puts the remainder of the crackers down. It’s hard to eat when your heart is in your throat. She wonders if she’ll ever see her daughters again. She didn’t tell Rebecca she loved her their last night together. She’d intended to tell Rebecca about the divorce on the horizon but had lost her nerve and now it was too late. The family is already broken. If she had told Rebecca about her intentions, Rebecca would feel responsible; take it as a personal injury.

She leans her head back against the hard wall and closes her eyes.

SIXTY-FIVE

A uniformed officer comes to the door and says, “Lucas wants to see him,” and he points at Vinnie. Ronnie gets up and leads the way inside. She says over her shoulder, “Just answer his questions the best that you can. Don’t elaborate and don’t let him get you angry. Anger won’t help us. Save the anger for Thundercloud.”

Jack wanted nothing to do with Vinnie and was glad when Lucas told him to show Crime Scene where he’d met the kidnapper. The tension was lowered with the removal of one antagonist, but now Jack had been replaced by Lucas’s dour countenance.

“Your niece said you spotted a vehicle in Bellingham where someone looking like Duke was getting into an SUV,” Lucas says.

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