Page 76 of Silent Ridge

She comes and sits at the end of the couch. There’s still enough room for a marching band.

“What’s it like? I killed her. I…”

“You saved me.” I feel a knot forming in my throat. “You did a good thing, Ronnie. Don’t ever think any differently. You didn’t hesitate.”

“Yeah,” she says in a small voice. “I didn’t hesitate.”

I sit up and slide up next to her and put my arm around her shoulders. It’s uncomfortable for me but I do it anyway. “It’s hard. You’ll think about it a lot.A lot.But you have to remind yourself why you did it. She was a killer. She was going to kill me and Dan. She almost did. She wouldn’t have hesitated to kill you.”

I can see Ronnie’s face is pale. She faced death not long ago. That’s something you always remember. She lived. Because of me. Now I was alive because of her. That’s what friends are for. Or partners.

“You’ve been a good partner,” I say, and I mean it this time. How can I not mean it?

We sit like that for a few minutes. Neither of us talking. Not needing to. Then Ronnie sits up straight. “What’s next?”

I remember all too well.

“We are on paid leave. Me for almost getting killed. You for the shooting. We will both have to talk to the department shrink. She’ll ask a lot of questions about how you feel. Be honest with her.”I’m going to lie again and pretend like it bothers me.“Then she’ll file a report that you can go back to work and then the big day.” I force a smile.

“Big day?” she asks.

“You get sworn in. You’ll be a real cop. Now, go to bed and let me get to sleep.”

Ronnie says good night and goes to her bedroom. I need to pee, but I’m too exhausted to get up. I close my eyes and a series of events runs through my mind. Alex Rader. Dead. Marie Rader. Dead. Monique Delmont. Dead. Michael Rader. Dead. Unknown killer bitch with a knife. Dead. Ronnie’s expression after the killer’s head exploded. Lifeless. She wasn’t shocked. She wasn’t angry. She was in the moment. She didn’t hesitate. She was more like me than I was comfortable with.

No one should be like me.

I think she’ll be okay. She bounced back from being kidnapped and beaten. She’ll get through this. I hear her crying softly in the other room and I feel relief. She’s not so much like me after all. I feel bad for Ronnie, but I feel great that that psychotic bitch is dead.

I slide my blazer and boots off but leave the shoulder holster on. I use the blazer like a cover. I have to get some rest before I talk to the Clallam County Sheriff’s Detective tomorrow. And write my reports. I don’t want to think about any of this. I remember I’ve got to call Gabrielle and Clay to let them know it’s over.

Ronnie is softly snoring. I try to quiet my mind and go to sleep, but I call the new cell number Gabrielle has given me to let her know it’s safe to go home. She deserves that much.

A man’s voice answers. “Who is this?”

The voice sounds familiar. I ask, “Detective Megan Carpenter. Who is this?”

“Hi, Megan.”

It’s Clay. But Gabrielle is in Maine with her son. I don’t say hello. “What are you doing answering Gabrielle’s new phone?”

“Gabby’s sleeping.”

Gabby?“You’re in Maine?”

“No. She didn’t feel safe there and called me. She’s back here.”

I hear Gabrielle’s voice in the background. “Who is it, Clay?” He says to her, “It’s Detective Carpenter. She wants to talk to you.”

I don’t know why I feel hurt. Clay acted like he was interested in me but I remind myself I don’t do relationships. Never works out. The last person I got close to was almost killed because of me and will never have anything to do with me. Ever.

Gabrielle comes on the line.

“Megan. What is it?” She sounds sleepy. And concerned. “I talked to Sebastian a few hours ago. He was fine then.”

I force myself to call her Gabby since she called me Megan. “Hi, Gabby. It’s nothing about Sebastian. I thought you should know the danger is over. We’ve got the killer.”But maybe you should worry about Clay ditching you. Cops make for horrible relationships.

“Clay already told me. I’ve been staying at his place for a while. Sheriff Gray called him to give us the news.”

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