Page 85 of Snow Creek

“I’m so stupid,” she says over and over. “So damn stupid.”

No argument comes from me—or Sheriff.

She doesn’t need any prodding. She unfolds herself and starts talking. Her blue slacks are torn and there’s blood on her sleeve.

She sees us looking at her clothing and the blood oozing from her arm.

“I’m fine. That’s just a scrape. I ran like hell.”

“What happened?” Sheriff asks.

She steadies herself against the car.

“I came out here, you know, to see how the kids were doing. They seemed so lost. Really. I just wanted to help.”

I don’t ask if she was making a court mandated visit because I know she wasn’t. I know her M.O.

“The house was quiet, and I went looking for them. I thought maybe they’d be in the orchard, but they weren’t. I got kind of worried. With everything going on around here, I wasn’t sure what to do. I mean, I thought something had happened to them.”

I want to tell her to cut to the chase, but I don’t and Sheriff nudges her along.

“I went back into the house to leave a note. My cell doesn’t work out here so I couldn’t call.”

“None work out here, Bernie,” Sheriff says.

She nods. “Right, so I wrote a note and as I went back to my car, I thought I heard something coming from the barn. It sounded like a hurt animal or something. Real muffled. I went inside, oh God. I saw something that I shouldn’t see.”

“What, Bernie? What did you see?” I ask, knowing that I’m not a patient person, the way Sheriff is.

“I called out their names again. And then I found them. They were in the back of the barn. Joshua was crying, and Sarah was telling him everything was all right. He stopped when he saw me. And when he turned to look at me, I don’t know… I saw that his pants were unbuttoned. He saw my eyes and turned away, while Sarah just snapped at me.”

“How so?”

“She just got mean-eyed and told me that I didn’t see anything. I lied, and asked her what did she mean I didn’t see anything. Then Joshua looked at her and said something like, there’s nothing to see here. I took a few steps backwards and told them that I was just checking on them and was going to be leaving. And did they need anything? I could make a run to the store. I got out of there and hurried to the road. I didn’t even go get my car because I’d have to pass by the door of the barn.”

Sheriff looks at me, then back at Bernie.

“What is it that you think they were doing?”

“Sex,” she whispers. “That’s what I think was going on. They were having sex.”

I don’t tell her what I know. I just keep my poker face.

“I don’t know what I was thinking, approving those two. I just… I just thought they should be together, brother and sister.”

I pretend to care about her. “It’s not your fault. You didn’t suspect anything wrong. You did a thorough evaluation, right?”

Bernie knows what I’m doing. I’m not always as clever as I think. Or maybe I am? I want her to know that like the rest of Jefferson County law enforcement, I’m onto her. She’s been milking this job for years. Everyone knows it.

She wraps her arms around her body and mimics a shudder.

“I know you have a good heart,” Sheriff says.

She sniffs as though she’s been crying. “I do. I really do.”

“Do you have your phone on you?” I ask her.

She shakes her head.

---