Page 30 of Bound By You

"I don't think counseling would work for us, Sof."

I hear her sigh, and then moan over the ice cream, causing me to giggle.

"I know it won't, but let me ask you a question." I clear my throat and wait. "Forget the badass bitch you have become, forget your family and mine, and go back to that quiet, shy girl you once were, and think. Think about how you would feel if you lost him tomorrow, how would you feel if he settled down with another, how would you feel if he made a family with someone else." My breathing picks up, a hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach intensifies the more she speaks, and more tears fall.

"You love him. You love him with everything that you are. It's not about the other women; you'd kick his ass and shove his balls down his throat for sleeping with others behind your back, because he thought it was out of duty for your honor not to pressure you. Fucking men, I swear they're stupid." I giggle because she's not wrong; I still need to smack him, too, because that split lip was for Sergi. "It's the fact he slept with your sister, your blood family, who has been trying to sell you to pay off her debts, that is what's holding you back."

I sniffle again. "How can I look past something like that?"

She chuckles evilly, making my brows furrow, then I hear Damian in the background say, "Fuck, I'm hiding the guns."

I burst out in laughter.

"Well, darling, you make him suffer, of course. Think about it, Phoebs, one year without him getting laid." My mouth opens in an "ah ha" moment.

"All jokes aside, you need to figure out if losing him permanently and him making that coke-head bitch his actual wife, outweighs all the negatives you feel. Giving him a shot at trying for a year may be your one last shot at having your happily ever after."

I sigh and look out my bedroom window. I cannot wait to get some horses and goats grazing in the distance.

"Tell me how my niece is doing; I miss her, and how is my nephew? Is he chubby? Chubby babies are always the best, and couldn't Damian wait at least a year before knocking you up again?" She bursts out in laughter, and we spend over an hour on the phone, catching up.

I missed her.

After we hang up and all the ice cream is gone, I stare at the wall for about five minutes, my mind going over everything. When my phone beeps, I look at it to see a message from Sergi, and I smile. I open it, and I laughandcry.

Sergi: have courage, be brave, and think with your heart. If he hurts you again, I'll skin him alive for you.

I sigh, knowing what I have to do. I'll regret it if I don't, but I may also regret it if I do.

As I walk into the kitchen, I see he's dishing up the baked moussaka with a side salad, and I smile a little. Since my grandmother died, he's the only one who has managed to bake it perfectly. He looks up as I walk in and gives me a sad smile. I can see the pain in his eyes, and it confirms he heard my breakdown.I go over to him, his eyes pinned to mine, and when I'm close, I ram my knee into his balls. He cups them, then falls to the floor.

Coughing, he says, "Yep, I definitely deserved that, but fuck, sweetheart, don't you want any kids?"

I smirk, happy with the endearment change, and take a picture of him kneeling on the floor, his head down, one hand on his junk, the other placed flat on the floor to keep him upright. I send the photo to Sofia, Sergi, and Abby. Then I go and get my plate, sit at the dining table that he's set up, and start to eat the goodness he's cooked me. My phone beeps three times.

Abby: fuck yes, girl! By the way, I do think you need to consider his offer. I know what he did was fucking shitty, but you're not happy, Hun. I love you.

I smile a sad smile, knowing she's right. I look at the other two messages and burst out in laughter.

Sergi: fuck Phoebe Pie; you might need them one day.

Sofia: oh my fucking God, that's what I'm talking about. Why the fuck didn't I think to do that to Damian?

"Seriously, Phoeb, you sent a picture to Sofia? Damian's going to be fucking pissed at me now; you're giving her ideas," he growls out from the floor, looking at my phone in my hand.

I look at him and flutter my, and smile sweetly. "And Abby and Sergi."

He shakes his head and gingerly gets up, grabbing his plate, before he sits next to me at the table. He groans a little, making me giggle, then places his hand on my knee, like he used to,and starts to eat. I sigh and continue eating in silence because, seriously, this is fucking delicious.

Once we're finished, he looks at me, and I finally speak, "Sofia is right, it's not about the fact you were a pig, it doesn't matter how many excuses you gave yourself; you knew my stand on infidelity, you knew I didn't give a fuck about other Bratva men having mistresses, I cared about you. A marriage where the husband screwed around is something I never wanted for myself; it was against my beliefs, and you went against what is at the core of me. That's why I kneed you in the balls." I take a deep breath. "It's the fact you slept with my sister that I'm struggling with."

His eyes turn sad.

"I don't know how to move past it, Alex. How do I try for a year, when all I see is you with her? Heck, one of the women you slept with accused you of getting her pregnant."

He sighs and runs his hand through his hair. "She's not pregnant, she was bullshitting. Damian and I took her to our doctor for the shot each year, and when we saw the link and her accusations, the doctor gave her an ultrasound, and there was no baby." I look down, and he places two fingers under my chin. "I know it's fucked up. Us Volkov men, we're not very smart." I give a small smile, and he continues, rubbing his thumb on my jaw. "I know I can't take back what I did with the other women or Selene, and I know you don't want to hear this, but I never fucked her cunt, never, always her mouth or ass." I squeeze my eyes shut; he's right, I didn't want to hear that. He puts a little pressure on my jaw, and I open my eyes, which have turned wet.

He whispers, "I know I can't turn back time, I know this is something you're going to struggle with and most likely throw back in my face when we have arguments, but I'm willing to try because I can't live without you anymore."

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