Page 30 of Fateful Exposure

When we arrived, she threatened the girl's mother to teach her daughter properly, or she would do it for her. Then, she told me to go and wait for her in the car. Reluctantly, I'd acquiesced, but not before I saw my mother lean in to whisper something into the woman's ears, whose eyes went wide.

She never told me what she'd said to the woman, no matter how much I asked. But the girl never bothered me again.

So, yeah. My mother was a doll most of the time but the other times when she wasn't, she was downright terrifying.

"Uh…" I stuttered. "I meant that…"

“Selma Makayla Volkov. What did you just say?"

Oh, fuck it.

"I'm pregnant, Mama." My voice was small as I adjusted myself on the bed. I knew what she'd been through raising me by herself and that she wanted better for me. It didn't matter that this wasn't twenty-seven years ago, and I had some savings to fall back on if my new line didn't work out. What happened was that I'd gone and repeated her mistake.

My mother didn't say anything for sixty full seconds, and honestly, it was much worse than if she had said something. Usually, when it came to me, she was very opinionated. The fact that I'd shocked her into silence did not feel very good.

"Say something, Mama." My voice broke at the end, and I realized I was close to tears. I hated times like this when her disappointment in me was so palpable I could have cut it with a machete. We'd had to depend on each other for the longest time because we had nobody else. My mother was my first best friend, and her approval mattered greatly to me.

"Let's talk later," she said curtly before I heard a click, followed by a dial tone.

The hand holding the phone to my ear dropped, and so did the tears in my eyes. I'd disappointed her. I could feel the weight of it pressing down on my shoulders, and it was heavy as fuck.

I sniffed, wiping my eyes. All she needed was a little time to come to terms with it. She would come around. Eventually, I hoped.

After shedding the towels, I put on shorts and a tank top and stopped by the kitchen to pour myself some juice before heading out to the large balcony that overlooked the building's general pool. I popped one hip against the guard rails, crossed my arms over my chest, and lifted the hand holding the glass over my lips.

Taking in the view, I sighed. Below, the pool shimmered like a turquoise gem, its waters catching the white lights around the poolside. I sipped, watching as the surface danced with ripples. The city lights twinkled in the distance, and I sighed again deeply, filling my lungs with the night's fresh air.

It had been a long time since I'd felt this heavy inside. I wanted to cry, the kind of tears where your nose is runny, your sobs are coming out in short breathless pants, and your head is aching but you can't stop. Where you're curled into a ball in a corner, just basking in the sadness, but what good would that do me?

It’d taken just a single moment for my life to fall apart three years ago when my ex-boyfriend Alex looked me in the eye and told me he didn't want me anymore. He then followed that by saying he'd fallen in love with my cousin.

Now that I was this close to healing, I went and got pregnant by a man I'd only met once and who had now become my shadow, popping up everywhere I went.

When I told Ashton that I didn't want my child to come into this world knowing that their parents hated each other, I'd really been talking about me. Everyone went on and on about the disadvantages of a child growing up without either parent, butno one talked about what happened to that child growing up knowing that both their parents thoroughly despised each other.

When I was old enough to understand, my mother explained that my father's unreliability had always been an issue for her. Though I'd never heard my father's side of the story, I knew she hadn't been lying. I'd experienced firsthand how fickle and meaningless his words were, and that was when he'd been trying.

When the haze cleared and I realized that he was full of shit, I completely withdrew from him. Stopping calling or taking calls, put some distance between us. He'd died a few years ago from cancer, and it was with great sadness that I finally made peace with the fact that he hadn't been a good person.

He'd entirely ignored and walked out on his family. He hadn't even been responsible enough to make an honest woman out of my mom. To this day, we know nothing of his family, mostly because she'd given up after many broken promises to take her to meet his parents. The only thing she knew about him was that he was German.

My mother had given me her last name. According to her, my father had been nothing more than a sperm donor and, as such, didn't deserve that kind of honor.

But she'd never married or fallen in love again. Even as a young child, I'd seen the damage that kind of betrayal did to her. The quiet nights after, when she thought I was asleep and would sit awake and cry. The toxic manner in which she'd put everything she had into her work. Her time, energy, her mind.

With me and her newfound addiction, there had been no space for anyone else.

I took a sip of my juice, wishing I could have a glass of wine to dull the ache in my chest.

At the back of my mind was a reminder that I wouldn’t be drinking for a long time because of the baby, but at the moment, I just wanted to be numb. To forget that in about eight months, I would bring a new life into this world, and I had absolutely no fucking idea what to do with it.

"Tough night?" The voice sent a ripple through my skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake.

My head snapped in its direction, revealing Ashton wearing nothing but sweatpants as he leaned against the railing. Against my better judgment, my eyes trailed down his face to the little strands of hair splattered across his chest. Hard, toned abs came into view, and I wrestled with the urge to lick my lips. My gaze traveled further down the dark curls that decorated his lower abdomen, stopping just above the waistband of his sweatpants.

Disappointment spread through me, and it was with horror that I realized I'd come very close to stomping my foot on the ground like a little girl whose candy had just been stolen.

Might as well, given how delicious his body looks…

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