Page 20 of Obsessed with the Player

Images kept flashing in my mind of last Saturday, when my lips had been right against his, when my tongue had been almost on his mouth and the question had gone through my mind more than once about what would happen if I just pushed a little further, if I just wanted to blame the shots and did something crazy, even crazier than moving into his apartment, crazier than asking him to help me learn how to be single, crazier than the fantasies I’d started to have ever since that day.

Of Andy closing the distance between us and looming over me. Of him pushing me around, until his hands were on my hair, and–

Stop thinking about it.

“Who says I didn't want to do it?” I said, because right now I couldn't contemplate anything else. “What if I was just nervous because a beautiful woman was offering to suck my dick until I was dry of come?”

It might sound prudish, but I’d never actually spoken this way before, or at least, never so bluntly, with such rage, and least of all, to Andy. But being around him pushed me to be something different. Someone else. Pushed me to want to try to take myself to my limits, to explore where they were, to be the version of me that I always kept in the dark and never acknowledged.

He called to the animal in me.

And I didn't know if it was something good or not.

Andy's eyes darkened at my crude words, his chest rising and falling in quick shallow breaths that I followed with my eyes. “If you wanted it, why didn't you say so? Why let me ruin the moment for you?” He started walking me backward towards the stalls. His face was suddenly savage, a little unhinged, a little mean, and fuck if that didn't turn me on. “Why didn't you tell me to fuck off, Dan?”

“I wanted to know why you’d done it in the first place,” I said, lying through my teeth, breath short, then it hitched when my back hit the stalls.

Andy's smile was all evil now. “Right. It's not because you want something else, is it? It's not because you want someone else to do the deed?”

My heart stopped.

Because God, did I want that.

I wanted it more than anything.

I wanted it more than my next breath, more than air, more than water in a desert.

I wanted Andy so bad I ached with it.

My eyes fell to his lips, and this time, I didn’t look away. I stayed helplessly silent.

For a second, I felt Andy stop, like he was suddenly realizing what he was doing, what he was saying, that he was holding me with his body and his words against the door to the stall.

I could almost see that he was about to brush this off.

So instead, I did the craziest thing of all and took him by the shirt and slapped my lips against his.

For a long second, it was just me breathing against him, the softness of his mouth against my own, so tantalizing, so forbidden, insane, andgood, I could barely comprehend it.

Then my mind started working again all of a sudden, and I pushed away, knowing that he hadn't been reacting, realizing just what I had done, not to mention that the last thing that I should have wanted was to have my lips against Andy's mouth.

There was a beat of awful silence in which we just stared at each other.

And then Andy took my head and pulled me towards his lips until we were kissing again.

And this time for real. Andy slammed his lips against mine, and all but devoured my mouth like it was his last meal on Earth, like he would die if he didn't taste me, if he didn't get his tongue deep enough, if he didn't taste every inch, and God, I kissed back just as fiercely.

Suddenly, we were all a flurry of hands trying to pull the other closer, grabbing hair, grabbing shoulders, grabbing arms,and somehow, Andy opened the door to the stall then slammed it closed when we were inside it.

He pushed me against the wall and kissed me like he was trying to fight me, like he was trying to devour me, and I had never in my whole life been kissed that way at all. I had never been kissed within an inch of my life, like I was the only person that mattered in the world, and now that I had felt it, I didn't know how I would survive without it.

But that was a thought for a later time.

Right now, all I could focus on was trying to get my hands all over Andy as fast as possible. I dragged them over every inch of his strong chest, of his abdomen, of his lower back, and fuck, I had never thought I would be doing this with a man, but touching Andy felt like the most right thing in the world. Every feeling of this different sensation, of man instead of woman, did nothing but light me up even more, it was addicting, I wantedmore, I wanted to feel everything.

Andy himself was trying to maul me with his own hands, being more forward than me and going straight under my shirt so it could all be skin against skin. The feeling of his rough palms against me was such an unexpected turn-on, I was groaning into his mouth before I knew it. In fact, I was making noises that I had never even known I was capable of doing, and I was fucking grateful that my brain had a one-track mind right now and wasn't lingering on the details, because I would have probably died of embarrassment otherwise.

Andy broke the kiss for a second, his hands going towards my belt, starting to work it over while looking at me, searching into my eyes for any signs of denial, seeing if I would stop him, blond hair falling partially over his face, but I didn't, I wanted thisbadly,so I only pushed my hips forward so he would have aneasier time unbuttoning my pants, which he did before shoving them down to my upper thigh.

---