Page 79 of Ruthless Mafia Daddy

“Same thing I’ve been saying the whole time. Talk to him. Father’s betrayal affected all of us, but you bore the brunt of his lies. You were most affected by them, and the past few years have been a traumatic experience for you. From running away to having a child on your own, getting kidnapped, and returning to the life you ran away from. It only takes the strongest of humans to hold down the way you have without breaking, and you should give yourself some grace. You were a victim too, the biggest.”

I blinked repeatedly, forcing the tears that pooled in my eyes back. Sometimes, I just wanted to put down the weight I was carrying and rest for a bit, but I couldn’t. Most of the guilt was not mine, but I couldn’t bring myself to ignore the fact that I had somehow contributed to the pain in people’s lives. The man I loved couldn’t even look me in the eye.

“Hey,” Vivian placed a supportive hand on my shoulder, “it’ll be alright. He just needs time, we all do.”

I nodded wordlessly, focusing on the road ahead. I intended to spend the next hours in the spa until it was time to pick up Jason from school.

I’ll eventually have to speak to Mikhail. I just need to figure out what to say to him, but until I find the words, I’ll just stew in my misery.

*****

“Daddy!” Jason shrieked, jumping down from my lap and running to Mikhail.

“Hey, big guy,” the widest smile spread through his face as he picked up Jason with ease, throwing him into the air and catching him.

Jason’s excited squeal echoed through the living room, and he proceeded to grab his coloring book from me and show his father all he had been able to accomplish.

Mikhail only acknowledged me with a curt nod before channeling his undivided attention to Jason’s school adventures and his paintings.

It was a bittersweet feeling watching them bond so well and not be a part of it. I swallowed the knot forming in my throat and forced myself to maintain a neutral expression.

The last time they were seated like that, I had let my emotions take me over and didn’t notice a tear running down my cheek till Jason asked why I was crying. I told him I had something in my eye and made it a point to be conscious at all times.

I couldn’t leave either. Jason was a growing boy, and it was only a matter of time till he started noticing his parents were never together in the same space.

“Dinner is ready!” Maya called out from the dining room, saving me from torture.

Dinner was quite generic and consisted of Jason rambling off to mostly his father and pulling me into the conversation once in a while.

He was currently talking about the new toy Enzo got him, and Mikhail listened with rapt attention, soaking up every bit of gibberish he spewed.

My food turned to cardboard in my mouth, and I fought the urge to throw up. It would be selfish for me to butt in and steal Jason’s attention after promising to give them time to bond, but the pain was becoming almost unbearable.

Thankfully, Jason soiled his shirt, and Mikhail had to take him to the bathroom, essentially signifying the end of dinner.

I remained in the dining room, moving my food around my plate and staring into space.

“???????.” Maya’s voice startled me, pulling me from my thoughts. “How long do you intend to remain sad amidst the joy surrounding you?”

“It’s not that simple, Maya.” I sighed.

“Nonsense. Everyone deserves a second chance.”

“You wouldn’t be saying that if you knew what I did.”

“I might not know what you did, but I saw the damage. I watched him almost kill himself with alcohol and cleaned up after him. I watched him become a shell of the man he used to be, and there were times I tried to find you myself. But I do know life is not always black and white, and there must’ve been a reason for your actions. There’s good in you, child, and what is important is that you’re repentant of your actions, but it’ll all go to waste if you don’t direct this repentance to the one who should see it.”

I fell silent, taking a moment to digest all that Maya had dumped on me. We’ve had little moments where she tried to fix thingsbetween us, but she never dumped this much information on me. My heart felt like someone sank their fist into me and squeezed tightly.

I always equated Mikhail’s pain to his hatred for disloyal people. I knew he loved me, but I never thought a man like him would let himself mourn a feeling as trivial as love. Maya’s revelation only made me feel worse, and I buried my face in my palms, every hope I had of Mikhail forgiving me slowly slipping away.

“He showed you the depth of his love from the beginning, and he mourned your absence the way a widower would mourn a dead wife. He has shown the strength of his love for you, and now it is your turn to show him he is not alone in those feelings.”

“I don’t know what to do, Maya. What if he is not interested in fixing things? What if he’s only keeping me around because of Jason?” I asked, feeling lost and hopeless.

Maya smiled warmly, pulling my hands into hers. “I’ve watched that boy grow into the man he has become today, and I can tell you if he didn’t want you around, not even a child would make him keep you, but he’s a man, and he has his pride. This is up to you.”

This is up to you.

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