Page 10 of Wickedly Tainted

“Y-you need toleave,” I said in a shaky voice as I tried to stand.

He halted my upwardmotion with gentle hands on my shoulders. I could feel my cheststarting to constrict as I gasped for air. I was still wildlyglancing around the room when he spoke in a soothing tone.

“It’s okay, Red.Look at me, baby,” he crooned.

My heart was beatingso quickly that I could hear it in my ears. Images of Jason takingwhat he wanted from me flashed before my eyes. I could hear hisvoice in my mind.“You like what I’m giving you, don’t you, youfucking bitch.”I felt pressure on my mouth, halting mybreathing. My fingers started to go numb and my lips were tinglingall over again. The start of another panic attack was unfoldingrapidly. I gripped onto his forearms, digging my nails in.

“Jill, breathe withme. Look at me and take a deep breath, now!” Damon demanded in adeep voice.

He grabbed both ofmy cheeks with his hands and forced me to look at him. Worry marredhis expression as I met his gaze. I gasped again as I felt wetnessrun down my cheeks.

“That’s it, baby.Nice, deep, calming breaths. It’s okay, I’m not going to hurt you.That’s the complete opposite of what I want to do. I wouldn’t everforce you to do anything you didn’t want to do. And I would neverdo anything to you without your permission.” His words confusedme.

“Y-you said…” Itried to speak around gasping breaths.

“I said I wanted todominate you, Red. And sure, that means I have some level ofcontrol, but you have the final say in what happens. If I want towhip that luscious ass with a riding crop and you say no, thenthat’s it. I will stop. I know a lot of people like you, Jill. Theyare the bosses of their world and they rule their everyday livesmeticulously. Submitting to a partner is a way they can safely letthat control go so they can just … feel for once. They don’t haveto think about what needs to happen to get to an end goal. Theytrust someone else enough to bring them what they need at thatmoment. I want to be that for you. I want to be your safe space,Jill,” he explained, still holding my face.

I took a deepbreath, in through my nose, out through my mouth. And again. Damonsat in front of me the whole time, leading me through my calmingbreaths. All the while telling myself repeatedly that Damon was notlike Jason. I don’t know how much time passed like that.Eventually, my chest loosened and I could feel my heart rate goback to normal.

I looked at Damonthe whole time and contemplated his words. A million questions ranthrough my mind. Was he just saying these things to get what hewanted from me? That seemed silly seeing as I was completelywilling ten minutes ago. But how would he feel when I said no tosomething he wanted to do? Would he use his size as an advantageand take it anyway? Something about the way he led me throughcalming breaths told me he wouldn’t. If he wanted to take advantageof me, he had plenty of opportunities to do so.

Every question Iasked myself over those few minutes I debunked before they became afull thought. Somehow I knew he would never hurt me physicallyunless I wanted him to. The only remaining question I had bouncedaround my head like a ping-pong ball. Would it truly be so bad tolet this man control me sexually?

It was odd, but theidea did resonate with me on some level. He had asked when the lasttime was that I didn’t have complete control over my next orgasm.The answer to that question was one I didn’t even know how toanswer. Never? Certainly not after Jason. Every single sexualencounter I had since that night had been planned out, and Ialways,alwayscontrolled the outcome.

Wouldn’t it be niceif for once I didn’t have to think about how best to please myself?Just hang on for dear life and let someone else take the reins.

I put my hands overDamon’s and turned my face into his palm. Before I could talkmyself out of it, I kissed my way to the tip of his index finger. Ilooked into his hooded eyes as I flicked my tongue out and aroundthe tip.

He sucked in abreath and before I could react he pushed me until I was laying onmy back. Propping myself up on my elbows I watched as he hastilyremoved his shirt. I watched him with a lustful gaze, unashamed. Hewas fucking delicious. His olive skin seemed to glow in the lowlight of my bedroom. His chest was an image of masculineperfection. He had the perfect amount of hair that spanned thedecadent flesh of his chest and then descended to his washboardabs. My fingers inched to trace the V that pointed down, rightwhere I wanted to be. He looked down at me with pure lust in hisgaze that made me shiver with anticipation.

He descended on topof me and made room for himself between my legs. He crashed hislips down on mine once more with a long groan. I brought my legs upand hooked them around his hips, grinding myself against his hardlength. I moaned my frustration and cursed the fact that we wereboth wearing jeans. I tried to push my hands down on his belt.Maybe he would get the hint and take his pants off.

He chuckled againstmy lips and looked down at me with a crooked smile. “So impatient,”he murmured. “I’m not going to fuck you tonight, Red.”

I glared up at him.“Why not?” I asked, offended at the refusal.

He looked down at mewith dominating eyes. “I’m in charge here, Red, and I think youneed to think about what I want from you. If we do this, you’remine. I won’t share you with anyone else. All your pleasure,present and future, will be mine. This isn’t going to be aone-night stand for me, baby. There is no going back after this,”he explained.

I huffed below him,a frustrated sound. “Then why did you take your shirt off? Are youjust trying to tease me?” I let all my anger come out in mywords.

He chuckled againand leaned down to kiss my neck. I melted against him as I felt histongue flick across my pulse point. “I still want to play with youtonight. If you’ll let me, I want to tie you up and make you comeagainst my tongue. I want to shove my fingers in that tight littlecunt, Red. I want to feel you soak my hand with your arousal,” hesaid against my throat before he looked back down at me.

I sucked in a sharpbreath at his words and felt said arousal flood my panties. As muchas being controlled scared me, the thought of him doing exactlywhat he promised turned me on more.

I squirmed under himand said the words he wanted to hear. “Do your worst, Detective,” Iremarked with a saucy smile.

He said nothing ashe stood up suddenly and I watched as he removed his belt with fastfingers. He stepped around my bed to the opposite side and held hishands out. Without a word, I looked at the upside-down vision hemade and held my hands out for him. I giggled as he pulled metoward him in a fast jerk.

Without his belt on,his jeans hung lower than before. I shook one of my hands out ofhis grasp so I could rub the bulge that hung in front of me likeforbidden fruit. Before I could touch him, he gripped my wrists andheld them with one big hand. A slight sting of panic shot throughmy chest for a moment. I had to squint my eyes together and take adeep breath to calm myself.

Damon leaned downand grazed his lips against mine, still holding me firmly. “You saystop and I’ll stop,” he whispered against me.

I nodded my head andopened my eyes, making myself look at what he was doing. Withpracticed fingers, he made makeshift cuffs out of his belt andslipped them over my wrists. He tightened them around me firmly butnot too firmly. I was almost amazed when he pushed his fingersbetween my wrists and the belt, making sure it wasn’t too tight.When he was finished, he stood back and looked at hishandiwork.

“Normally, I wouldtie you up with soft silk rope but I have to make due tonight. Iwant to blindfold you. Are you okay with that?” he asked in ahopeful voice. I nodded my head, unable to speak. I swallowedthickly as I felt my heart beating rapidly. I couldn’t decipher ifit was from fear or excitement but I was leaning toward thelatter.

I lifted my headenough so he could tie his t-shirt around my eyes. My breath wascoming out in harsh pants, not with panic but pure need. His scentsurrounded me, only adding to my arousal. I listened as he walkedto my feet and felt the bed shift as he climbed back on top ofme.