Page 34 of Wickedly Tainted

I rose up his shaftto where he almost slipped out before I descended onto him again.This position made him go deeper and I felt every long, thick inchof his cock. He grabbed hold of my thighs right where they met mypussy and squeezed me.

“Take what you needfrom me now, but you will tell me what haunts that beautiful mind,Jill,” he rasped before he thrust up into me.

I realized in thatmoment that he wasn’t dominating me like he usually did. He knewhow much I needed to have some semblance of control and he gave itto me willingly. I was just too damn stubborn to let myself feelthe full reality of his offering. I ignored that he was basicallytelling me, begging me to take all of him, body and soul, and notjust sexually.

I shook off theemotion I felt flooding my throat as I rode him. My pace picked upas he helped me move atop him. His breathing grew heavy before hethickened inside of me. He was close. He sat up fully and broughtmy breasts to his scorching mouth, nipping at me. We moved togetheras I felt myself tighten around him.

“Come with me,” Ipanted as I held him to my breast. “Bite me, please!” I wailed,begging for more.

He groaned againstme before he bit down on my tightened peak, pinching the other onewith the same pressure. That was all it took as I went careeningoff the cliff and he followed after me. We both shook withaftershocks as he pulled me to him and laid down with me still ontop.

I could no longerhold off my emotions that made a surge to the top at that moment.My body trembled as I was wracked with silent sobs. My throatburned and I squeezed my eyes shut to stop the tears that werealready escaping.

Damon rubbed my backin firm strokes and let me cry. I should have been able to shoveeverything down after spending my body as I did, but I couldn’t. Icried for the old Jill I used to be before Jason. I cried for theJill right after it happened, broken and ruined. I cried foryesterday’s Jill that wouldn’t be able to go back to her oldways.

I was stupid tothink I could pretend for a weekend and then go back to reality asif nothing had happened. Damon had proved that in just one day hecould break down all those walls I built for my own protection.

My dream had provedthat I would never be able to escape my past no matter how much Iwanted to be someone else. The reality was that Red didn’t exist,Jill was all I was. That thought shouldn’t have hurt like itdid.

I sobbed for whatfelt like an hour as Damon rubbed my back, letting me release whatI needed to. When I finally dried up, I was sure my face was apuffy red mess. I tried to roll off him but he held me firm.

“Talk to me,Roja,” he begged in a soothing voice. I kept my head to theside so he couldn’t see my face as I finally spoke.

“It was just a baddream,” I answered, hoping he would take that and drop the subject.I should’ve known he wouldn’t.

He rolled us so hewas on top of me. He stared down at me with intense eyes.

“Bullshit,” he saidin a harsh tone. “I’ve seen bad dreams before and this wassomething entirely different. You kept saying ‘No!’ and you werehitting anything you could get your hands on. Jill, you werescreaming bloody murder,” he finished.

I flushed with newirrational anger from underneath him. Why couldn’t he just leave italone?

“I don’t want totalk about it. Why do you feel the need to push me? If I didn’toffer up the information willingly, then obviously I didn’t feelthe need to fucking discuss it. You’re not my goddamn boyfriend sowhy do you even care? Get off me!” I yelled up at him.

I knew I was beingcruel but I didn’t give a shit. After the emotion that was pulledfrom me because of the dream, I was feeling way too raw and Ineeded to lash out.

Hurt flashed in hiseyes before he quickly snuffed out the emotion. He scowled down atme before he lifted himself. I felt a pang of regret as he took hisheat with him.

“You’re right, I’mnot your boyfriend, but that doesn’t stop me from caring. You mightnot be in tune with your feelings, Jill, but if you haven’t noticedI have very strong inclinations toward you. But you’re too goddamnstubborn to let anyone love you the way you deserve,” he admitted,and I flinched as if he struck me.

He laughed but itheld no humor. “For fuck’s sake, I’ve never even brought anotherwoman to my home before, let alone stayed the night with one. Youmay not have meant to, but you’ve dug your claws in so deep that Ican’t get them out. You’re all I think about every fucking day andhere you are ready to run every time this gets a little too real. Ijust want you to be real with me!” he finished as he towered aboveme.

My anger roseswiftly and I was out of the bed and in his face before he couldblink. Both of us were unwilling to back down from one another.

“You want real?” Igritted between clenched teeth.

“That’s what Isaid,” he seethed

“Fine!” I exclaimed.“You want to know what I dream about? Why I don’t let anyone in?You want to know why I fuck so many different men?” His jawclenched as I mentioned my other sexual conquests. My chest heavedas my adrenaline spiked. “I dream about my past. I dream aboutgetting shot by some crazy motherfucker and waking to you pressingon my chest! But then that morphs into something much, much worse.”I couldn’t stop myself now. “One minute, Tom’s standing above meand the next there’s someone on top of me, holding me down while Ifight to breathe. I have no choice but to lay there as he fucks meagainst my will!” My voice shook as I finally came clean.

Damon flinched as ifI struck him before he visibly paled. I swallowed hard before Icontinued. I took another step toward him as I held his gaze.

“You want me to talkabout how he drugged me and forced me to take everything he had togive. How he bruised and ripped me wide open. He took it all,” Iadmitted as I held my arms out wide with a cruel smile on my lips.“He didn’t ask and he wasn’t gentle. He called me his dirty littlewhore and said I loved what he gave me. Said that I asked for it.”My voice broke.

Damon took a stepback and I followed. Crowding him.

“Is that what youwanted to hear? Is that real enough for you? You want to know why Idon’t do relationships? It’s because I don’t deserve them. Don’tyou get that yet? You don’t want me! I’m dirty, used up, ruined,stained, tainted!” I screamed at him, chest heaving.

Damon stared at melike he had seen a ghost. He ran a shaking hand through his hair ina frustrated motion before his eyes hardened.

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