Page 10 of Bull Rush

We stand in an uneasy silence while Wolfsbane rattles the door of his stall, asking to be let out, and a truck rolls up the driveway in the distance. Her eyes follow the sound, and she stares out the door of the stables for a long minute.

“Why would you even want to do this?” she asks without looking at me.

“Nostalgia.” I’d rehearsed this answer, knowing she was bound to ask.

She lets out a huff, and her eyes flick over me, then dart back to the door.

“You’ve never been nostalgic in your life. It was always forward movement with you. Always what was next week, next year, next century. Now, suddenly, you like long walks down memory lane?”

“Yes, but it’s also my home of record for the authorities, and I don’t feel like refiling paperwork right now. Fuckin’ hate bureaucracy.” It’s not a lie, just not the whole truth. She tilts her head as if acknowledging that much is easy for her.

“I can give you a room in the inn,” she bargains, turning back to me with a optimistic look.

“Nah. I don’t want to be up at the crack of dawn because your ladies are headed out on one of their daily adventures. I want my house. My bed.”

“Fine. Then I’ll move into the inn while you play house. It’ll keep me closer to everything.”

“It’s all or nothing.” I press my luck, and now I have her attention. Her eyes search my face, and they harden.

“You’d do that? Try to take the ranch and inn away from me? When you never wanted them in the first place?”

“I told you. I’ve had a lot of time to think over the last few months. Reflecting on what I might have done differently if I’d been in a different place.” I offer her a crumb of honesty, but somehow that uneasy admission makes her angrier.

“You get nostalgic and want a do-over, so you just get to crash in here and take everything I’ve spent years working on? All because things got a little rough out there, and now youthink you can come home to hide. Pretend you can put it all back like nothing happened. Fuck the rest of us, right?”

I bite my tongue to keep from responding. It took two of us to get where we did when things fell apart. She was every bit as stubborn as I was when it came down to it. But I’m making a big ask right now, and I know it. I deserve some part of this lashing, even if she doesn’t need to be quite so heavy-handed.

“I want a place to stay out of public view, serve out the rest of this parole, and have some sense of stability while I figure out what’s next. I’m offering you all of it and a million dollars for the inconvenience. Ninety days and you get it all for the rest of your life. That’s like winning the lotto compared to what I could do.”

“And you fuck off forever after? I don’t ever have to hear from you or see you again? Your lawyer isn’t going to show up someday pointing to some loophole where you take it all back?” Her arms tighten around her middle.

“If that’s what you want.”

“It is what I want. I don’t even want to be standing here having this conversation with you now. If it were up to me, you’d fuck off immediately and stay fucked off.”

I bite my tongue to keep myself from pouring gasoline on this fire.

“Yes. I fuck off forever after. No loopholes.”

“I want it in writing. Tell your fancy fucking lawyer I want everything in black and white. And I want you to sign it in blood. Anything less and I won’t do it.”

The average person would probably be terrified of her temper, but I love seeing it flare again. Anger means she’s still invested enough to feel something for me. Apathy is the real danger. Right now, I still have a shot to fix this. It might be one deep down in the bowels of hell, with rapidly dropping temperatures and the smell of snow, but I’ll take it.

“Is that a yes, then?” I have to bite the inside of my cheek to keep the smirk off my face.

“No.” She practically hisses the word. “I have to think. Talk to Curtis. Make sure my lawyer can’t get me out of this first.”

“Your lawyer?”

“I have one.” Her eyes narrow and sweep over me before she looks away again. “Not to mention, I’m still hoping this is a nightmare I’m going to wake up from any minute now.”

“Afraid not, sugar.”

She flicks me another look before she turns to leave the stables.

“One last thing…” I call after her, and she pauses but doesn’t turn around to look at me. “I just want to be clear. When I say I want my bed back, I mean with you in it.”

I see her bristle, and she flips me the bird over her shoulder before storming out. I turn back to Wolfsbane and run my hand over his mane.

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