Page 13 of Bull Rush

“You trust him?” Curtis asks, noticing the way I’m lost in thought again.

“He respects me. He still loves my family even if we don’t love each other. I’m not worried about him hurting me or forcing me or anything like that.” I hurry to recover.

Ramsey broke my heart, but he’d never risk breaking my spirit. I’d still trust the man with my life, even if I do hate him with every bone in my body.

“But you’re worried?”

“He’s a force of nature. He comes in like a hurricane and leaves everything in his wake a path of destruction. I don’t want him to make a mess of this place or a mess of us,” I explain as Curtis takes my hands in his own.

“He won’t make a mess of us. If anything, he’s helping us—right? You’ll have this place to yourself, finally. Plus, you’ll have the money to upgrade the rooms and fix up the stables like you wanted.”

I raise my brow at him as I lean back and sip my tea. It’s my turn to study him because I can’t help the little bubble of apprehension in my gut. The little voice telling me no man is this accommodating, even with these kinds of stakes. Especially not any man who’s seen my ex.

“What?” he asks after a long minute.

“I just can’t believe you’re so unbothered by this. If this was reversed and your ex wanted you to go back to acting like you’re still together, I’d be furious. I’d never be okay with it.” I’d consider stabbing her for even suggesting it.

“I don’t love the idea, Hazel. Obviously, I don’t like the idea of someone else touching you. But I can only imagine what a prolonged, messy divorce will do to your mental health and our finances. Not to mention our chances of getting married sooner rather than later. Plus, like I said… he’s a fucking loser. No job. No home. Fresh out of prison. It’s not like I have to worry about you falling for someone like that.” Curtis laughs; it’s haughty and dismissive. He gives a sharp shake of his head like Ramsey’s the most ridiculous thing he’s ever taken the time to consider.

I feel the zip of it in my veins—a rumble of anger and defensiveness. One’s I shouldn’t feel, given the position Ramsey has me in. But then he was part of me whether I liked it or not. Long before Ramsey was mine, he was part of my family. My brother’s best friend. Always at our house to escape the complications at home—ironic since his family had money and mine had none. But my family loved him. Hard. Even after our divorce when my brother and Ramsey grew distant, they were still the first people to cheer for him on the screen against the home team. We all still watched the verdict of his trial on TV with our breath held tight in our chests, hoping for the best. Like any good family, it’s one of those things where if I want to talk shit about him—that’s one thing, but I’ll go down swinging against anyone else who has a bad word to say.

But right now, I have to hold it in. I don’t want Curtis to think there’s anything more than a business decision being made here—one I’m making under duress.

“And you’re okay not being here with me during that time?” I ask because I’m not sure he’s thought through all the implications of this arrangement.

“Sure. I’m going to be in Vegas for that training for most of the time anyway. When I come back those couple of weekends, I can rent a hotel.” His eyes light up and turn back on me. “Maybe you can sneak away and come meet me there. We can pretend likewe’rehaving an affair.” He grins playfully, and I can tell he’s trying to make the best of this. I smile despite the literal truth of his statement reverberating in my head, but something about his casualness has me feeling uneasy.

“You’re really not worried about me sleeping with him?”

His grin turns into a smirk. “Not after what you told me about him not being able to get you off.”

My eyes dart to my phone and I clear my throat.

“Be serious though. It won’t bother you that I’m kissing him? Sleeping with him?” I press. I don’t want to do this to save the inn and lose Curtis in the process.

“We saw other people when we were first dating. How’s this any different?”

“Because we’re about to be married.” I try not to let the irritation through in my tone. I don’t want to start any more fights with him.

“And we still will be.”

“Are you going to sleep with other people then?” The thought hits me like bricks—after all, he’ll be in Vegas. What better place to be on a break from your fiancée.

“I don’t know. It seems like the hall pass should work both ways.” He shrugs like it’s nothing but it feels like a brick slamming into my chest.

“But I don’t want a hall pass, and if I had one, I wouldn’t use it on Ramsey Stockton.” I protest. I can think of three movie stars and one singer who would all be in line ahead of him. But knowing he’d still be on the list—even if it would be a hate fuck—is a little unsettling to realize. I’d have to confront that ugly little truth later.

“If you tell me you’re not comfortable with it, I can respect that. Although it does seem a little unfair.” His mouth sets in a grim line and he tilts his head to the side like he’s considering which apple to pick at the grocery store rather than the boundaries of our engagement.

“I’m not comfortable with it,” I answer firmly, and his eyes meet mine.

“Okay.” There’s a resignation in the way he looks at me, but it’s an uneasy one.

“Does that change how you feel?” I ask. I want more from him, more fight, more thoughts—more anything really, but he seems at peace with this.

“I trust you, baby. You tell me you’re okay with this, that it’s what you want to do to make this easier and get his help fixing up the inn, then I’m good. I know who you’re walking down the aisle to.” He rubs his hand over the back of mine. “Not to mention, I know it’s me you’ll be imagining and missing anyway.”

Apparently, I’ve underestimated Curtis’s ego, and he’s underestimated Ramsey.

---