Page 104 of Bull Rush

I stand and march over to him, closing the distance so rapidly he takes a step back and tilts his head like he’s bracing for impact.

“No, I’m not okay! I thought you left without saying goodbye. Everything was gone, and you were nowhere to be found.” I shove at his chest but he holds his ground.

“I just got my stuff packed so I can leave early. I’m sleeping in the guest room. I figured with everything… it’s best we keep our distance.” His brow raises as he takes my emotional state in. The fact that he’s not even shedding a single tear right now pisses me off.

“Distance.” I shake my head, wiping the tears frommy cheeks. “Well… good luck getting to the airport. I slashed all the tires. Most of them, anyway. Until Cade stopped me.”

His face screws up with confusion, followed by a strange combination of irritation and amusement.

“Well, that was silly. Bo’s taking me.”

“That fucking traitor!” I screech. “I knew it.” I make a mental note to punch my older brother in the stomach the next time I see him. He’ll know why.

“Is he though?” Ramsey looks at me like I’ve lost my mind.

“I’m his blood.”

“And I’m his brother.” Ramsey counters.

“Were his brother.”

Ramsey’s face hardens at that correction, and I feel my heart skip when he starts to turn away. I reach for his arm, wrapping my fingers around the crook of his elbow, and he halts in his steps.

“But we could fix it,” I add quickly. “If you want him as a brother again, I mean.”

Ramsey’s eyes slide to the side and drift over me.

“I think it’s a little late for fixing things now, Haze. We only manage to hurt each other.” I can hear the skepticism in his voice and it hurts.

“Just hear me out,” I plead.

He lets out a beleaguered sigh, but he doesn’t move to leave again.

“You could still go to Cincinnati. Play for the Chaos and finish out the season. It’s just a few more weeks, right?”

“Not if there are playoffs. Which there could be,” he counters, but I can tell by the way his brow softens that he’s interested in where I’m going.

“I could follow you. I might have to come back a few times here and there to make decisions about the ranch, but… Bo and Cade and the staff, they could handle things. I’d have to figure out how to hire an extra person or two… but maybe, if you’re playing again, you might be willing to give a loan to your ex-wife?”

“The check for the million is already on the nightstand.” He nods toward it, and I frown, but he jerks his chin like he wants me to know that he made good on his promise in black and white. I walk over, and sure enough the check is sitting there just like he promised it would be months ago. His flourished signature on the dotted line.

“You were serious…” I stare at it. “I don’t know whether to be flattered or insulted.”

“Flattered. I would have given you two million if it meant I could have you in my arms again, Haze. That’s all I wanted. I thought if you remembered how good we could be when we aren’t fighting… maybe you’d give us another chance. I didn’t realize how dead set against it you were. I would have never pushed you like that if I didn’t think somewhere deep down you might still want us.”

“I would have been back in your arms again for free. It was theletting you back into my heartpart that felt like it should have a high price tag. You broke me, Ramsey. When you left… I know I said I was okay. I wanted you to believe that because I wanted you to chase your dreams the way you encouraged me to chase mine. I wanted to see you out on that field, free from all the pain that this ranch represented for you. But… I laid on this floor, night after night, wondering how I could go on without you. Imagining you happy and free of me and all the other bad memories here… When all I wanted to be was yours. All I wanted was some way that I could be the one you ran to.” A sob breaks free even though I thought I was done crying for the night. How I have any tears left yet to spill is a mystery.

“Haze…” His lower lip quivers the slightest bit as his eyes travel over me, and I watch the ensuing tears that stream down his cheeks. “I wanted you to run with me. I wanted you. But it’s like I said… I didn’t want you in a place where I thought my being there could hurt you or hold you back. I wanted to play… yes. I thought it would give me the ability to give us a better future, one where we didn’t need Stockton money or Stockton land to make things work. Where it could just be the two of us, deciding our own fate.”

“I still want that.”

“You won’t be happy away from this ranch or the inn.” He shakes his head, his cheeks stained red from the pain of knowing it.

“I won’t. Not long-term. But for a year or two. However long the Chaos will give you. We could move back and forth. There during the season. Back here during the offseason. I can go back and forth between.” His eyes light up as I suggest it, and I’m hoping that’s a good sign for me.

“And then we come back here?” he asks, the tears slowing as he considers my proposal.

“Yes. Then we come back here unless we decide we want to be somewhere else. I’d consider it if that’s what you really want. But I think… I think we need to stay and fight. We can’t let whoever killed your parents drive us away from our family and friends. As much as your brothers piss me off… they’re family. And they’re right about not letting awful people have the upper hand. They can’t have this ranch or this town—it’s already ours.”

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