Page 46 of Johnathan

“I need to cry,” she confessed.

“That’s okay. I’m right here. You can cry all you need to. I’m not going anywhere.”

“No,” she shook her head. “I need to cry, but I can’t. I haven’t cried since that night.”

His body went stiff around her. “Not at all?”

“No. I think I’m broken. I feel it here, pressing in on my chest. Like I won’t ever be able to get enough air to breathe until I finally do, but my brain won’t let it happen. Every time I start to get upset, it’s like my mind screams at me to be grateful I’m alive and to stop bitching about the little scar on my neck. He killed all those other women. He nearly took everything from Emma, and she shows her scars off with such fierce bravery that I feel like the biggest baby for hiding mine. I can’t allow myself to be weak when everyone else is so strong.”

“Look at me.” His finger skimmed the skin under her chin until he tipped her face towards his. “Crying about something does not make you weak. Accessing those emotions is an important part of processing through the trauma you experienced. Andit was traumatic. Your nightmares are screaming at you to let it out. So listen to them. You are safe to cry here. I’m not going to think you are weak. I’m going to lay here with you in my arms and remind you how strong andcourageous it is to be vulnerable. How incredibly proud you should be for releasing it. You’re safe with me, Abby, always.”

“I’m really tired of holding it in.”

“You’ve been carrying this all by yourself for too long. Give yourself permission to not be so damn strong. I’ll be that strength for you instead. From this moment forward, you’ll give it to me to carry.”

His words brought the familiar sting to her eyes. Instead of pushing it down, instead of fighting it, she gave herself permission to let the tears fall. She let the walls she’d so carefully constructed around her pain come down while he held her. His touch was not solely there for comfort. It was possessive. All consuming. His warm, musky cologne filled the space between them and she found herself wanting to burrow even more into his chest…

She cried.

The tears came, and they didn’t stop.

Was it minutes? Was it hours? She didn’t know.

Slowly, Abby began to calm, the tears not as overwhelming as they first were. She found herself taking a few deep breaths as her fingers began tracing one of the tattoos across John’s chest.

“Promise me something, sweetheart,” he whispered as her tears finally stopped.

“What?”

“Promise me you’ll delete that dating app right after you send me that asshole’s information.”

“Why would I do that? I don’t want to be alone forever.”

“I’m not going to lie, Abby.” His thumb swept along her cheek, collecting the last of her tears. “I’m a selfish bastard.”

“What does that mean?”

“I don’t want you dating anyone else.”

“Anyone else?”

“Anyone other than me.”

Her breath hitched at his confession. “Because you don’t want to keep saving me from my own stupidity?”

“No. I can’t stand the thought of another man touching you. I want to be the man who takes you out to dinner. I want to be the one who brings you flowers and sneaks little kisses from you at school drop off. I want you to teach me how to braid Katy’s hair and come with us on all our adventures. I want to be the man who keeps you safe. The man who takes you to bed every night. The man who wakes up with you in his arms each morning.”

She laid there, silently absorbing the words he’d just said. She continued to run her fingers over his skin, and he did the same along her back.

Her eyes lifted to meet his. In those short moments of silence they shared, she found the courage to do something she’d wanted to do from the very first time he’d saved her. She lifted her lips and pressed them against his.

The kiss was soft, and Abby could feel John desire and apprehension pouring through their connection.

He shifted, his hands running up her arms. For a moment, she imagined him running his hands under her shirt, but instead he gently pushed her body away.

“You have no idea how much I don’t want to stop?—”

“Then don’t.”

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