Page 28 of Johnathan

“You did research on it?”

“Well, yeah. I stayed with her Tuesday night just to make sure she was okay, and I looked some things up.” He shrugged his shoulders. It really was no big deal, he was just trying to be a good friend.

“Wow, that’s really sweet of you.”

“We’re friends…”

“Right. You’re friends.” Grace nodded in agreement, but he could see her smile was saying something else.

“What Grace?”

“Nothing, John. Does she at least have your number now?”

He smiled. “Yup. Now I just need to get her to use it.”

Abby sat straight up in bed, her hands covering her throat. When she brought them away from her skin, she’d been expecting to see it covered in blood, but there was nothing.

Nothing sticky.

Nothing oozed between her fingers.

Nothing at all.

Her nerves were fried. A glance at her clock told her it was once again too early to be awake, but her heart told her shewasn’t getting back to bed. Honestly, a very Monday way to start the week.

This wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that she had to fight her mind. She just wanted to feel whole again. Not like she was fighting for her life every time she laid her head down. Ripping open her top drawer, Abby grabbed her bright pink sports bra. She slipped into the matching running shorts, then stalked to her closet and found her reflective jacket. She pulled it over her head, zipping it all the way up to cover her neck.

When was she going to stop feeling like her skin didn’t belong to her? Her vision blurred around the edges. She hadn’t even gotten outside for her run and yet she was completely out of breath.

Sitting on the edge of her bed, Abby tried counting backwards. When that didn’t work, she laid down, placed her hands on her chest and belly, and tried to remember how the hell cycle breathing worked.

When that failed to calm her galloping heart rate, Abby reached over to her nightstand and picked up her phone. There had to be a meditation she could try to stream. She just needed to get out of the downward spiral enough to get her shoes on. Then she’d be able to run until her mind went blank.

Tapping the home screen on her phone, she felt instant relief wash over her. There was a message from John. She must have fallen asleep and missed it coming in.

Deputy Handsome: We had dinner with my parents. Pretty uneventful evening, aside from a vicious game of rummy that Grace won. She’s an absolute shark.

When she didn’t respond, he sent another text.

Deputy Handsome: Remember you promised to call if you need anything. Anything, Abby. Sweet dreams.

She had promised…

No. John had been amazing when she had her migraine, but she wasn’t about to ask him to come to her rescue again. Besides, if he wasn’t working, she’d be waking him up and that was unfair.

She chewed her bottom lip for the next ten minutes, her brain continuing the fight between calling him and just going for a run. Finally, she laced up her shoes, grabbed her keys, and went to sit on the couch.

“Hey…” His sleep filled voice was gravelly, her skin pebbling at the deep timbre. “Are you okay?”

“I-I’m sorry for calling.”

“It’s okay. What’s going on?”

She steadied herself, digging to find the courage to say it out loud. “I need to go for a run.”

It wasn’t just a statement of fact. It was a plea for help.

“What time… Abby, it’s too late. Or early. Whatever the hell way you look at it, you can’t go for a run.”

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