Page 3 of Johnathan

“She had her neck cut open by a serial killer.”

“Abby. I-I’m sorry.”

Even with her arm still draped over her eyes she knew Sam was staring at her. He sat down next to her, groaning like a fifty-year-old man.

“You know I can just have Zeke run the morning chores. I’ll sit here all morning if I have to.”

Shit. He could be more stubborn than her for sure. Slowly, she pushed her body up, until she was sitting with her legs straight out so she could easily stretch while her brother ran through his usual lecture.

“Maybe you should. You sound like it just about killed you to sit on the ground with me.”

“I’ll have you know I’m in excellent shape.”

“Mm. Maybe have one of the doctors in town verify that.”

“How does this keep getting turned on me? I want to talk about you.”

“I’d like you to leave me alone.”

“Can we please not start the day out like this? I’m worried about you.”

God, she was being such an asshole to him. She needed to figure out a way to snap out of her bitchiness before she pushed away her family for good. It was always just there, simmeringunder the surface of her skin. This anger that returning to Bell Ridge hadn’t worked out the way she always thought it would.

“I’m sorry, Sam. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I feel like I’m stuck. Being here at the ranch… I don’t hate it, but I don’t want to be here forever, you know?”

“I know.”

“I love you, and I love Mom, but I need to figure something out. Being here isn’t what I want. It wasn’t part of the plan when I came back. A family dinner every now and then, I can cope with. But every day is just too much.”

“You will. Give it a little more time. You’re still having nightmares.”

Shit. She thought she’d woken up before she’d screamed. Apparently not.

“You heard?”

“It’s a little hard to miss when it was the only way you’d wake up after the attack. I thought you were past it though.” He scrubbed his hand down his face, and she couldn’t help but think about how much older he’d been looking since she came home. Sam had their entire family’s legacy on his shoulders. “It’s been a little while since you had one. Did something trigger it?”

She didn’t know what to say. Something had, of course, but there was no way she could explain it to her overprotective big brother. He’d make it his life’s mission to find whatever site the FBI had Marco Santoro in and try to kill him for what he’d done to her.

“No,” she lied. “Maybe it’s just my brain trying to let it go so I can move on. At least I hope that’s it.”

“Have you thought about going to therapy? I talked to Emma and she’s got a really great counselor in Dallas she goes to.”

“I can’t take time off from work to drive to an appointment in Dallas every week.”

“I know. That’s why I asked if her therapist does telehealth visits.”

“How the hell do you know what a telehealth visit is? You can barely work your cell phone.”

“Abby, I’m not even ten years older than you. I just don’t use my phone a lot because I don’t want people thinking they can talk to me all hours of the day.”

“It wouldn’t kill you to get someone in your life you want to talk to at all hours of the dayandnight, you know? You’re not getting any younger, and I want to be an aunt.”

“Jesus.” Sam groaned as he wiped his hand down his face. “This isn’t about me, dove, so don’t even think about trying to make me the center of this conversation. No more running in the dark. No more going to bed anxious without talking it out with me or Mom. No more.”

She didn’t respond, opting to pull at the grass surrounding her.

“Abby. Tell me you understand.”

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