Page 77 of Unspoken Obsession

He pushes the Spiderman outfit onto my lap.

"Gosh, you got the best one. Tell you what. I am going to come over and borrow Spiderman one day when I have a party to go to. Is that ok?"

"Yes." He says, but now he is lying flat on the floor trying to get his arms into the sleeves of the dinosaur onesie. I laugh.

"Come on, let me help you." He rolls over, kicking it away from himself. Then gets up and hands it to me, grabbing my knees with his little hands to balance himself then lifting one leg in the air.

From the kitchen, I hear Frankie shouting. "Oh, sorry, please can you put one of his big boy nappies on? I don't want any accidents tonight. He already had a bath."

I pull my mouth tight, searching around the room for a nappy that I have no idea how to put on.

"Top drawer of the baby stand." She calls out again.

I pull the drawer open. "Which one is it, buddy?" I ask, holding up one nappy that looks really complicated and one that looks like a chunky pair of underwear.

He points to the chunky underwear. "The blue one?" I call to Frankie in the kitchen.

"Yes, that's the one."

Damion lifts his little legs into the nappy, then wiggles into the dino suit with my help. When he is done, he jumps up against me and demands to be lifted.

"Hey, little guy. Are you ready for dinner now?" I say, carrying him through to the living room. He rushes about, showing me his toys, bringing them to me one at a time.

I keep staring at him -- at how blue his eyes are and the darkness of his hair. The shape of his mouth and his eyes - he looked just like me when I was a baby. I am convinced that if I held a photo of myself up next to him at the same age, you wouldn't be able to tell us apart.

I noticed it at the park the other day, but now, I am struggling to deny it.

And the timing - he is almost four. He was born about nine months after she left Las Vegas - timed with our night at the gala event.

Should I just ask her? She knows if I am the father or not. She would know who she was with. I don't want to just assume I am the only man she had a wild affair with - but how can I not? Everything lines up too perfectly.

Frankie comes through the living room carrying a large roasted chicken and a bowl of roasted potatoes and veggies. She sets them on the dining table near the window. "You two look like you are having fun." She laughs.

"I am getting the full presentation." I pointed to the toys all lined up in the same order he showed them to me.

She leans down and picks Damion up, nuzzling her nose against his cheek. He grabs her face in his hands and kisses her. You can see how much love there is between them. She is a beautiful mother.

I open my mouth to ask if he is mine but then close it again. Perhaps now is not the time. Perhaps I should wait until we are alone.

FRANKIE

Sitting at my little dining room table with Dante and Damion, enjoying the roasted chicken I made, is like a glimpse into what it would be like to be a family. Living together and enjoying these small moments - this is what it would be like.

It is cozy and filled with laughter. Damion seems to adore Dante and Dante has shown incredible patience with him and a certain skill for building up a friendship with him. He knows how to talk to him and how to build trust. That - or Damion just senses that Dante is his father.

I don't know.

I'm really happy watching them together, but I'm also sick with guilt.

I want to believe that Dante can be a good father, that he is a good man, but I'm so worried.

What worries me even more is that I know I can never walk away from him—so I know I am going to take this risk. If it doesn't work, I will be on the run again, but I can't carry on without at least trying. I want to be with him. I want Damion to know who he really is too. It's a dangerous risk, but one I think worth taking.

After dinner I stand up to clear the plates, Damion is sitting on Dante's lap, telling him about his favorite dinosaur, even though most of what he says is difficult to follow, Dante is engrossed in the conversation.

But when he sees me gather the empty plates he moves to stand as well.

"No, sit, stay with him. This will be so quick. Relax. I am going to bring out the ice cream and salted caramel sauce."

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