Page 36 of Unspoken Obsession

My heart is still racing when I pull away again. That was a close call.

I need to pay more attention. I am so caught up in my thoughts I didn't even notice him standing there.

There is just so much going on.

And what the hell was happening at the casino? There was tension in the air like they'd robbed the place, but the alarms never went off and they didn't lock down.

I park in front of my apartment building, as I always do so that my father's goons can keep an eye on my car for me. Then I head upstairs, opening the front door and stepping inside my apartment at quarter to midnight.

Clarissa tiptoes through the apartment to whisper hello to me at the front door.

"He was unsettled earlier. He woke up twice, had some milk, and went back to sleep about half an hour ago - but otherwise, he has been an angel."

"Thanks, sweetie. Did you enjoy the mac and cheese?"

"It was divine." She grins. "There is a little leftover in the oven. I'll see you tomorrow." She gives me a quick hug and then tiptoes out of the apartment.

I close the door behind her and slip my feet out of the high heels. My poor toes are aching. Flexing my feet I sigh, the relief is instant.

Am I doing the right thing spending so much time with Dan?

I am listening to my heart more than my brain and it is going to get me into trouble.

I want to find out if he is Damion's father. Although at this point I am almost ninety-nine point nine percent sure of it. There are just too many similarities - too many connections that I've already made. Maybe I should steal his toothbrush and do one of those mail-order-dna-test things.

I sneak through to Damion's room and peek inside. He is sound asleep -- his beautiful, chubby cheeks squished against his pillow. I don't dare move the blanket or lean down and kiss him because I know how easily he would wake up especially if Clarissa only just got him to settle.

Wandering through to the kitchen I flick the oven on and stand, leaning against the counter, wondering what in the world I am doing with my life.

I keep taking risks with the card counting - but it's the only thing keeping me sane at this point. It's the only thing that I do that isn't controlled by someone else. But I've been doing it a lot more lately and the more I go to these high-stakes games, the more I am putting myself in the spotlight.

Which is bad.

I really can't have someone recognize me as Antonio Musetti's daughter, especially not when Dan is around. That would scare him off and I wouldn't blame him either. Who would want to be associated with the daughter of an underworld criminal?

I sigh, running my fingers through my hair and pulling it all over my left shoulder, brushing out the wavy curls.

How am I going to tell Dan who I think he is? And how am I going to tell him he has a son?

At this point - because I've already waited so long - the longer I wait the worse it becomes because I am keeping an enormous secret.

But that secret is protecting my child.

The kitchen is filled with the delicious scent of macaroni with rich cheese sauce, mushrooms, and bacon. I grab the cloth and pull the dish out of the oven, setting it on the wooden board so that I can dish some up for myself.

All I'm sure of is that I can't keep this up for much longer. I need to make a choice and then stick to it. It's difficult to stay away from Dan. But if my father finds out what is going on, it will be ten times more difficult and Dan would be in danger.

The questions Dan was asking tonight were too forward - too intense. I wonder what he's thinking? He was interrogating me this evening it was more serious than casual 'get to know you vibes'.

Dammit. I really am playing with fire.

It will not end well.

I eat my late night dinner standing up in the kitchen, leaning my hip against the countertop - my mind racing, filled with worry.

Tomorrow I am going to decide.

I might need to stop seeing Dan - at least for a little while until my father's men back off or my father gets bored with following me around.