Page 29 of The Pilot & the Athlete

“That’s not much of a difference when we’re both full grownadults.” She got brave and rested her hand on his arm. His gaze dropped to her hand and then flew back up to her eyes. The room grew warmer, time slowed, and each soft inhale and exhale was significant. Did he lean closer or had she arched up?

“I guess you’re right.”

He held her gaze, but he didn’t move or say anything else. Shay moistened her lips, and his gaze intensified. She ran her hand up his arm, over the smooth bump of muscle on his bicep, across his broad shoulder, and around the back of his neck. His breathing quickened. She threaded her fingers into his hair, tickling his scalp.

“Shay,” he whispered huskily, and he definitely moved closer, his chest brushing her shoulder. He framed her hip and waist with one large palm.

Shay’s heart raced out of control. This was it. Their moment. He would kiss her and then admit he didn’t think of her as a little sister—not even close.

He didn’t move, and she didn’t feel it was out of line to gently encourage him.

“Paul …”

“Yes?” His gaze was a deep smolder, hot fudge and deliciousness.

She wanted to ask him to kiss her, but she choked. “What did you think glaze meant?”

His eyes widened and he straightened away from her. “Something like you said, bragging someone up, putting ‘glaze’ on them.”

“Oh.” Disappointment surged through her.

Paul stepped back and gestured for her to walk up the stairs in front of him. The disappointment pulsed and prickled at her.Him stepping away was sharp and painful. She should’ve just asked him to kiss her.

Sadly, she feared the result would be even worse. He might explain exactly why he wasn’t interested in her. Autumn? His career? Her brother? Her career? Her age? She wasn’t certain what stood between them but feared her teenage crush would never morph into a relationship like she longed for.

Chapter

Ten

The next fewdays passed too quickly. They had a great time together, but Shay kept some distance between them, and Paul tried to erect his walls again. Him breaking away from a kiss that night must’ve hurt her. He hated that, but it made it easier to not let down his guard and tell her how incredible she was and how perfectly they fit together. Every time they incidentally touched or she glanced his way or they laughed together, it was like gripping the edge of the cliff with white knuckles to not wrap her up and kiss her, tell her he wanted to figure out how to date her properly when this was all over.

Easton or Walker or their new friend Hunter were always there to make sure they were safe and cleared to do an activity and not run into the other people who were staying at the ranch. They swam every day, lifted weights together, went on walks and horseback rides, watched movies, ate Mama’s delicious meals, and even got to have Mama Millie and Papa Jared overfor dinner one evening. They didn’t see Clint at all, and Easton evasively said the sheriff was dealing with a local situation.

Easton still flirted with Shay and she teased back with him, but she seemed unaffected by one of the most charming and handsome cowboys coming onto her. Paul could admit he liked that.

He and Shay prayed together at mealtimes and before they went to their separate bedrooms at night. They talked about scripture and Christian philosophies, and he was amazed at the depth of her faith. He felt closer to Shay than he had to anyone but his family, military unit, and Aiden. He’d never felt closeness like this with a woman, especially not a woman who was irresistible to him. He had to keep reminding himself he was protecting her, not falling for her. Her brother loathed him, and he and Shay lived very different lives. He didn’t know if they could ever come together, even if he wanted to.

Oh, how he wanted to.

But if he let himself cross that line, he’d have to pull down walls he’d never removed around a woman. He’d have to share all the details of what happened with him, Carrie, and Darian. He’d also have to go talk it all out with Darian, ask for forgiveness, and find a way to forgive himself once and for all. It seemed whenever he thought he had a handle on the guilt, something happened to make it resurface.

Paul should’ve felt guilty for lying to Shay about what he’d thought glaze meant. He’d assumed as he held her in the water that glaze meant making a move or going for a kiss. He could not admit that when they were in such a perfect position for a kiss. How was he going to stay strong?

It was Monday night and they’d be up early the nextmorning to fly to Denver for the trial. It was only eight-thirty, but they decided to get to bed early.

Paul did a sweep of the master and brushed too close to Shay as he exited. He paused, his heart racing, and stared down at her beautiful face in the dimly lit hall.

“Goodnight,” he managed through a thick throat. Tomorrow he’d take her to the trial and then he’d move on to the next assignment. He’d have to walk away from Shay. That stabbed at him like a hot poker. He didn’t want to be away from her. He wanted to step up and face his issues and his past. For her.

“I pray your rest hits different,” she said, teasing him as usual.

“Hits different?” He moistened his lips and imagined pinning her against the doorframe and kissing her for a very long time. Who needed sleep?

“It means … affects you in a meaningful or special way.” She smiled.

She affected him in a meaningful and special way. Was it time to reveal that? Warm pressure was building inside his chest, and he didn’t know how to cling to his reasons for keeping a distance any longer. Tomorrow was coming too quickly. He had to step up and do something about the way she made him feel.

Paul stepped closer, resting his hand on the doorframe above her head. She blinked up at him. Shay was gorgeous, but it was more than that for him. She was the light and joy he prayed for but found elusive in his demanding and often violent security career. Could she be the reason he finally resolved everything with Darian and moved past that guilt and forgave himself?

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