Page 111 of Scars Like Wings

I didn’t even know what the items were that she was holding up because I was too enamored with her; that she was here and talking to me. “Is this real? Are you really here, Mom?”

“I think the blue for me and the black for you. You always looked so good in black. You could make it look so… bright somehow. I used to love that so much,” she said, her eyes twinkling with pride as she looked at me.Gods, how long had it been since I had heard her voice?How had I forgotten its depth and timbre, how smooth it sounded? Death had taken her from me, but time had robbed me of my memories of her, even the simplest things, like how she held a pen or the way she spoke.

“Mom… I’ve missed you. I just…” I paused for a moment, worrying my bottom lip. “I am so confused.”

“About what, my love?”

“Everything, Mom. I don’t know how much you know because this is a dream obviously, but it’s everything. The book, the scars, what I am—I mean, am I even human, Mom?—Quinn.” I shook my head, on a roll I couldn’t stop. “Oh my gods,Quinn. There’s something she isn’t telling me. It’s definitely related to her family and her job, which makes sense. But also there’s knives involved apparently? But also also, she killed that vampire, so she would obviously do anything to keep me safe?—”

“You love her.”

I stared at my mom. Of all the things I rambled on about,thatwas what she grabbed onto? “Mom! I only like her! I mean, I like her a lot, but I don’t know anything else for sure.”

“Sure you do, boo-boo. If you didn’t, I wouldn’t. That’s how it works. I only know what you do.” She winked.

I only know what you do.I shook my head to ignore and escape the implications of that. “I have only known her for less than two months, Mom.”

“Oh, sweetheart.” She reached out and put a hand on my cheek. I leaned into her touch. “You love fiercely. You always have. You have been a love-obsessed, hopeless romantic since you were knee high to a grasshopper. There’s no shame in it. Besides, I knew your father for two weeks before he said ‘I love you’ to me for the first time.”

“Yeah, but you were soulmates, made for each other.”

“We were mates, yes, but we didn’t know that at the time. We just felt it. You have to do the same. No one knows exactly what the future will bring. But we do the best we can with what we can sense and tell. For everything, you have to follow how you feel. You have to just let your feelings be your guide while your brain gives you logic where needed. That’s your instinct, instructions straight from your soul to get you to where you need to be. It will not lead you astray, and you’ll be okay in the end. It got you this far and just look at you.”

Tears overflowed from my eyes as I choked on a sob. Mom wiped away my tears with her candy red-tipped thumbs. She kissed my forehead. She was so warm, so full of life. “I would give anything to have you back.”

“No, I wouldn’t allow that. You wouldn’t be my daughter if you needed me any longer than you had me. You are everything I have and am proud of. You are the best of me. And you are so strong, Byrd, stronger than me. I love you more than I love myself. You may miss me, but I’m never far away. You will be okay. You will always find your okay.”

Now, I was crying fully. “I love you so much, Mom.”

“I love you, too, baby Byrd, until the moon catches the sun. You’ll figure this all out.” She kissed me on my cheek before she left me with one last smile.

I wanted to stop her. I wanted to keep her here forever. I didn’t care that this was a dream, I didn’t want to wake up. Here, my mom was alive, and everything I had wished for and missed since that day over fourteen years ago. I didn’t want to go back to a world where she wasn’t in it.

Just before I lost sight of her, I decided to follow after her. Mom navigated the maze of clothing racks and displays with ease. Soon, I reached the other side.

But I wasn’t in the mall anymore.

Now, I stood in the bedroom of a familiar home. Looking around, I realized it was the bedroom where Pops, Aunt Max, Uncle Everett, and I lived for a couple of years after Mom’s murder. The walls were teal, and the decor was just the beginnings of the style I had now with crocheted pieces hanging from the walls and my favorite books stacked everywhere. Still, there was no real life here. It had been too short of a time. We hadn’t even finished unpacking from our old house. We were too busy unpacking our grief.

What was I doing here?

Suddenly, I could hear a conversation outside my room. It gave me a powerful sense of deja vu. I didn’t want to go to the door. I didn’t want to open it. But there was an uncontrollable force making me go to the door to check.

As soon as I opened the door, I knewwhenI was. I could never forget this night, no matter how hard I had tried. From my place in my doorway, I saw Aunt Max get slammed against a wall. The wall behind her cracked all the way up to the ceiling from the force of it. She bared her fangs at her aggressor before she summoned flames in her hands and threw them. She chased after him as he recoiled, on fire. Everett came into view with his wings and talons out, roaring.

The assailants attacking them were masked and wearing black from head-to-toe. I felt another rush of deja vu as theyreminded me of the same gang that had killed my mom. There were so many of them with such a variety of weaponry. My eyes widened. The last time I had seen people like this was the last time I had seen my mother alive. Fear made my blood run cold as it consumed me. I backed up to escape, to be anywhere but here.

When I turned around in my bedroom, I saw that my window was not only open, but another masked intruder stood there. Despite his mask obscuring his face, I could tell from his build and stature that he wasn’t much older than me. We locked eyes. In the dim light from the full moon, I couldn’t see the color of his eyes. But when they narrowed, I felt the meaning of the phrase “if looks could kill.”

From holsters on his thigh, the boy quickly pulled out a gun and a knife. Both weapons glowed a red so dark and rich they looked like they were bathed in bright fake blood. Power radiated from their light. It was magic, a dangerous kind. There was something about it that felt wrong all the way down to my bones while also feeling like I was in the presence of something practically radioactive. I wanted to panic as much as I wanted to roar and fight just like my Aunt and Uncle were doing outside my door.

Something told me though that if I tried I wouldn’t live to tell about it.

Suddenly, a gust of wind blew in hard and fast from the open window slamming the intruder face-first down to the ground. He was knocked out instantly. His weapons flew from his hands, helping me to relax.

“Byrdie baby, are you okay?” Pops asked me, suddenly there behind me in his pajamas.

I nodded, unable to speak.

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