“I didn’t say positive. I said purposeful.”
“Same thing.”
“No, it isn’t.”
“Isn’t it?” I shot back.
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s…”
“What?”
“You’re trying to distract me.” His tone was accusing. “You’re the one who said positive is the same as purposeful. It’s on you to prove it.”
“Negative emotions can be purposeful. They just can’t be positive.”
“What?” Jesse shook his head slightly like he was trying to clear the cobwebs. “Are you being obtuse on purpose?”
“Just pointing out the semantic flaw in your assessment.” I smirked at his confused expression.
“Now you’re just throwing words out to try and confuse me.”
“It’s okay if you don’t understand.” I went to pat him on the shoulder but pulled back before I’d lifted my hand more than a few inches. What the fuck? We weren’t casual touch people. I couldn’t remember the last time we had any sort of physical contact. “Words are hard.”
His ire was obvious, even with his sunglasses obscuring his eyes. “This is why no one likes you.”
“What is?” I asked lightly, even as my gut churned with something uncomfortable. It wasn’t a secret that I’d never been one to have a lot—or any—friends, but the reminder from Jesse, who’d always been surrounded by admirers, cut deep.
“You can’t just have a normal conversation with people. It’s like you go out of your way to be an asshole.”
“Only to you, sweetheart.”
“Did you forget I’ve known you since we were eight? You’ve always been like this.”
I shrugged. He wasn’t wrong. Iwasan asshole, but not this kind. I wasn’t the type to snipe or argue over stupid shit. I was more the resting bitch face, stay-the-fuck-away-from-me type. “All I meant was that not all negative emotions are bad.”
“How do you figure?” he asked, picking up our conversation.
“Sometimes they can be helpful. Anger can motivate you. So can pettiness.”
“What about sadness? How is that positive?”
“It stops you from being angry.” I shrugged. “It sucks, but sometimes you just have to feel what you’re feeling. If that’s sadness, then be sad. It’s the only way to process and actually deal with the problem and not just cover it up.”
“Now who’s quoting their therapist?”
“You don’t agree?”
“I think sadness is a slippery slope, and it’s easy to get trapped there.”
“Better to be trapped in sadness and deal with it than be trapped in real life.”
“You’d know all about that, wouldn’t you?” he asked innocently. “Being trapped in real life.”
“You think I’m trapped?” I spluttered. “I’m the one who got out of here, remember?”