Page 26 of Flipping the Script

And he showed up later than I expected Adam to arrive, so I’d spent even more time fighting with the grill and working myself up into a frustrated mess.

I would have been fine if it was Adam behind the wheel, but the cabin wasmyspace. It was the one place in the world I could escape to. Where I felt safe and could fully relax.

When Jesse showed up, my frustrations with the grill and my life in general shifted onto him and the fact that he was here, at my cabin, when I wasn’t expecting it.

He’d caught me in a volatile mood, and my stupid ass had wanted a fight.

“Fuck.” Dropping my shirt, I turned on the water to wash my hands.

Why had I made such a big deal about Jesse getting hard in front of me?

I’d never been that guy to resort to dick-size jokes or making fun of someone’s masculinity. I’d had that shit thrown in my face enough over the years. I didn’twantto be that guy.

Boners happened, and his ears being a hot spot was a perfectly good explanation for why he popped wood.

I should have let it go. Just pretended like I hadn’t seen it and let him leave so I could go back to cursing the grill in peace and be done with him.

But I hadn’t.

Not only had I rebuffed his offer to help, I’d needled him about something completely natural and out of his control.

And I had no fucking clue why.

I couldn’t deny that arguing with Jesse was fun. It gave me a thrill like nothing else, but what happened between us today was different.

For one, we’d never put hands on each other. We’d threatened to over the years, and a few times a mutual friend or one of our siblings had gotten between us to break things up before they got physical, but neither of us were fighters.

At least, I didn’t think he was.

Jesse wasn’t the type to lose his shit, ever. Maybe that’s why I loved fighting with him so much. It was the one time when his perfect facade cracked and he acted like a normal person with feelings and emotions and not like a damn robot.

I’d always hated that about him, ever since we were kids. He had the irritating ability to pretend like nothing bothered him and things that would make normal people lose their shit were nothing more than minor annoyances. I always looked like a loose cannon around him.

I’d seen him fight before, back in high school. But those hadn’t been his fault. He never started fights, but he finished them.

If he wanted to, Jesse could have rearranged my face and not even broken a sweat. We might be close to the same height, but he was bulkier and stronger. I wouldn’t have been able to stop him if he’d wanted to hurt me.

But he hadn’t. And I hadn’t wanted to hurt him. Not physically.

Why had I started things? Why had I lashed out at him instead of just letting him leave?

Maybe it was my bad mood. Or being caught off guard when he inadvertently invaded my haven. But the more we argued and the more he reacted, the more I needed to keep arguing with him.

It started with wanting to trade barbs and insults like we always did, but something about seeing him get hard because I breathed on his ear affected me in ways I wasn’t ready to examine.

I felt powerful, and a different type of thrill lit a fire in me that I’d never felt before. Something dark and wild and dangerous. Addictive and all-consuming.

More of the lingering adrenaline from the fight drained out of me, leaving a cold, empty feeling and a sense of bone-deep exhaustion.

Why had I told him I was bi?

Coming out to him hadn’t been on my to-do list. I’d kept my sexuality a secret until now because it was easier, not because I was ashamed or I hadn’t accepted it or whatever.

Blurting out my truth to Jesse mid-wrestling match had not been how I’d pictured my first coming-out announcement.

Maybe I told him so he wouldn’t think I was being a homophobic asshole for taunting him about his boner?

I remembered when Jesse’s sexuality had become public knowledge at school and how even his immense popularity hadn’t been enough to shield him from the gossip and verbal abuse other out students had to deal with. And it had been even worse for his best friends after they’d been outed.

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