Page 26 of Their Wicked Ways

“I’m fine,” I said, only half lying. “I don’t need to go home.”

I wasn’t fine now, but I would be in an hour. The aftereffects of the attack would fade, and going home now would just mean spending the whole day alone and freaking out, which would probably trigger more attacks.

And as much as I didn’t want to, I needed to talk to Ezra and Wes before they told the crew anything. The guys didn’t even know I liked men, even though I’d had a million chances to tell them. How the hell would they react if they found out I was into getting double-teamed by strangers?

“Are you sure?” Quinn asked. “You’re pale as fuck and look like you’re about to fall over.”

“I’m sure.” I sat up straighter. “I’ll be fine in a few minutes. Not my first rodeo.”

“I don’t feel right about this.” Quinn glanced around, but the rest of the guys were still out of sight. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I will be,” I said, going for honesty. “It takes a bit, but I’ll be back to normal soon. Going home won’t do anything.”

“Okay.” Quinn chewed his lip. “But you’re keeping your ass parked here for the next thirty minutes. I need to go over some stuff with Ez and Wes, but I’m sending one of the guys to sit with you. Any indication that you’re not fine and I’m taking you home.”

“Deal.” I sipped my water, trying to look as normal as I could after all that.

He hesitated. “Don’t move.”

“Not planning on it.” I tried to smile, but it probably came out more like a deranged smirk.

Quinn shot me one more concerned look, then left me with my thoughts.

Taking another sip of my water, I tried to think about the situation logically.

We hadn’t done anything wrong, and it wasn’t anyone’s business what I did in bed. We were adults, and we’d all consented to it.

I just needed to keep that energy the next time I came face-to-face with them instead of having a panic attack and needing my boss to talk me down so I didn’t pass out.

Happy freaking Monday.

5

EZRA

A strong handclosed over my wrist. I looked up to find Wes giving me his ‘we need to talk’ face.

I nodded. He wasn’t wrong. We’d been at work for almost three hours and hadn’t had a chance to talk alone yet.

I’d spent the time cracking jokes with the other guys and pretending we hadn’t already met Jett in the biblical sense. Assimilating into a new crew was hard enough but doing it when you were harboring a pretty massive secret about one of your coworkers was a mental battle.

Wes had done the same as me, doing his best to pretend like we were the chill new guys, but I could see how much he was struggling with every furtive glance at Jett, how his smiles and laughs never reached his eyes, and how he got that faraway look that told me he was catastrophizing.

“What do you think?” Quinn asked, tipping his wrist to look at his watch. “How about we take twenty now, finish this room, then break for lunch?”

The other guys murmured their assent, putting their gear down.

I let Wes drag me out of the room and behind the house where we could talk without being overheard.

“What the actual fuck?” Wes demanded, his voice hushed since we were out in the open. “Did you see how he reacted when he saw us?”

Nodding, I leaned against the siding. Seeing Jett have a panic attack when he recognized us had shaken something in me, and I still couldn’t pinpoint exactly what.

We had a strict one-and-done rule, and until now, we’d never come face-to-face with one of our play partners. We’d come up with all sorts of scenarios and talked about what we’d do if it ever happened, but none of our plans had included how to handle our play partner freaking out and being sent into a panic. Or what we’d do if they turned out to be one of our new coworkers.

“Do you think we coerced him at all?” Wes chewed on the corner of his lip. “Is that why he’s freaking out?”

“I don’t think so.” I pushed back the ugly feeling that had been churning in my gut since Jett’s panic attack. “But he seemed really inexperienced. It’s possible we pushed him into something he wasn’t ready for.”

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