Page 117 of Their Wicked Ways

“We managed to keep things quiet until just before finals,” Wes continued. “But we made the mistake of letting our guard down and went to a movie together. We thought going to a late show and picking a movie that had been out for a while would give us cover, but it didn’t.”

My chest constricted painfully. I’d spent years terrified that someone would figure out I was bi. Being outed had been my biggest fear.

“Some guys from school saw us, and that was it. The whole school knew by Monday, and someone told my brother.” Wes looked down at his empty plate. “And instead of talking to me or keeping my secret, he told our parents.”

“I’m sorry.” The words felt inadequate, but what else could I say?

He shrugged. Ez leaned over and took his hand.

“Long story short, they kicked me out, and Ez’s parents took me in.” He shrugged again, like he was shaking off his bad mood. “The other times we’ve been outed were at work. Nothing big or dramatic ever happened. Most people didn’t really care as long as we weren’t overt about it, but some people cared too much.”

“It’s not exactly low stress to have your coworkers watch your every move to make sure you don’t act gay or acknowledge your male partner in any way.” Ez laced his and Wes’s fingers together. “But we don’t have to worry about that now.”

“I overheard Quinn joking about how he should have named his company Rainbow Construction because we’re the queerest crew ever.” My smile fell. He’d also joked about how I’d broken their streak by being the only straight guy.

But I wasn’t straight. I’d never been straight. And I was lying to the people who’d done nothing but love and support me, even when I continuously shut them out and kept them at arm’s length.

“What was that face for?” Ez asked.

“Nothing.”

Ez’s look clearly said he didn’t believe me.

“I was just thinking about how no one at work knows about me.” I rubbed my hands against my thighs, the warmth from the friction helping to ground me. “I don’t know why I’m keeping it secret. I told Nick, and you guys obviously know. But I can’t make myself tell anyone else. The guys at work, my friends. Not even my aunts. And I’m literally guaranteed to have the best coming out ever. Not a single person will even blink when I tell them. Iknowit’ll be fine, but I’m scared to actually do it.”

“How about we take this conversation to the living room so we’re more comfortable?” Ez suggested.

“What about…” I waved at the dishes still littering the table.

“We’ll get it later.” Ez pushed his chair back and stood.

When we were in the living room, they sat on opposite ends of their couch, leaving an open cushion in the middle.

“Do you want to sit here?” Wes tapped the cushion. “Or there?” He pointed to the easy chair.

I sat in the chair. Not because I didn’t want to be next to them but because I wanted to look at them while we talked.

Wes slid across the couch and settled next to Ez.

“Do you think maybe your fears about telling people stem from what it was like before?” Wes asked. “I imagine you had to be incredibly careful while you were figuring stuff out.”

I nodded and dragged my fingers over the arm of the chair, the rough scratch of the fabric helping to focus my thoughts. “I figured out I like guys around the same time I started liking girls. I don’t really want to get into it, but I didn’t even know that bisexuality existed until I was seventeen.

“My Aunt Tabby, the one I lived with when I moved here, was the first gay person I ever knew. I was ten when our family found out and she moved away. No one told us why she left. They just said she’d chosen a different life, and we were never to speak of her again. I overheard my parents talking about her being a lesbian a few days later. I had no idea what that was, but by the way they said it, I knew it wasn’t good. I couldn’t ask anyone what it meant, so I looked it up.”

“I imagine that internet search was eye-opening.” Ez grinned.

“Thankfully ten-year-old me didn’t have access to the internet, so I used a good old-fashioned dictionary. That’s when I learned about gay people. A few years later, I started noticing girls, but I also started noticing guys. I thought there was something wrong with me. I wasn’t straight, but I wasn’t gay. I had no idea that you could like both, so I spent a lot of time trying to repress my feelings and attraction to guys and force myself to be straight.”

“It never works, does it?” Wes’s eyes were sad.

“Nope.” I sighed. “And I hate that I’m still scared of my identity.”

“It takes time, Jett.”

My chest tightened at Ezra’s soft tone. I loved the way he said my name. How it always felt familiar and special.

“You’ve been away from your family for over a year, right?” he asked.

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