Page 70 of Don't Let Go

“I know who was behind your kidnapping. I’m eighty percent certain I have the right person, whether they were the driving force of it or they were merely following orders—it washim.”

I was very happy for him to have found the answer. It might have been useful if I’d been in on the conversation. Still, I kept it all battened down tight. I was in danger of losing control on all fronts.

That wouldn’t be good for anyone.

“His name is Abdias Stone, he’s a former general. Storied legend in a lot of circles, with more redactions in his file than commendations.” McQuade planted his hands on his hips as he continued speaking. “He and my father served in the same unit when they were younger. That kind of thing leads to lifelong friends. It did for them, for a time. I give my father a lot of shit, but he has limits. Section Five was about at the edge of what he would sanction for national security. Abdias Stone wanted to take it a hell of a lot further.”

Considering what I’d been pulling out of Section Five and MadOg, it sounded like he already had. Was he the poison pill in the agency that deviated from its primary mission?

“He’s here. He’s got people working for him, former military from the look of them. Probably washouts, cause they weren’t really up to my standards.” He gave a careless shrug as he motioned to his face. “I let them beat on me while he asked his questions. You can learn a lot about what people are up to if you let them direct the conversation.”

A flicker of amusement skated along the edges of my irritation. I was familiar with the technique. The gleam in his eyes seemed almost hopeful before he folded his arms. No, I was not ready to forgive him this particular transgression.

“Can you access the information you took? I know you said it would be tricky, but I want to nail this son of a bitch. My gut knows it’s him, but we need hard evidence.”

“If she does,” Locke said, interrupting for the first time since the debrief began. “It could make her far more vulnerable.”

It would make all of us vulnerable. They wanted it back in hand if possible or destroyed if not. I could make copies though. So many copies. Send it around the world. This wasn’t the kind of evidence that sent people to jail.

No, this was the kind that derailed careers, forced Congressional hearings, and scandals. Someone would fall on their sword and take the heat, then it would all be quietly mopped up and everyone would get back to work.

I used to believe in fairy tales, but I was a hell of a lot more pragmatic now.

“She’s vulnerable now,” McQuade said, evenly, not taking his gaze off of me. “You are, Sugar Bear. You’re the best at what you do and we wouldn’t have gottenthisfar without you. I’m not asking you to present the evidence to the world, I just want confirmation. I’m happy to take him out right now, the suspicion is enough to make me scrub him off the board. Trust me when I say he deserves it.”

“But he wants to make sure you’re safer if he does it,” Remy said, adding his own thoughts to the mix. “I can’t say it’s a bad plan. I wasn’t planning to put any of your captors or former employers in jail anyway.”

“Nope,” McQuade said. “I want them scratched off permanently. Dead men can’t come after you again.”

My throat closed at the absolute conviction in their voices. Even more at the passion filling McQuade’s eyes. He meant it. They all did. The emotion clawing its way through me wouldn’t be denied.

Eyes burning, I turned away for the first time since they’d entered. Hot tears splashed onto my cheeks before I could stop them. Pressing a heel of my hand to my right eye, I fought the overwrought reactions shattering what little control I’d managed to cobble together.

It was like someone ripped open all the compartments where I’d shoved my fear, my loneliness, and the what-ifs from my life before, and they were spilling out everywhere. Walking away from that existence had been the hardest thing I’d ever done.

I’dsurvivedit by building a new identity and these three men had become vital to me. Their survival, getting them through their missions, being there for them…

Itmattered.

I was rapidly losing the struggle against the worry that surged past the barriers I’d erected. Tears slid down my face and I couldn’t get a deep breath. Hands closed on my arms and McQuade dragged me back against him.

He was just there, surrounding me like an impenetrable wall and the sob I’d been trying to smother broke. Jagged cracks spread like spiderwebs through the dense ice I’d tried to use to keep the world away.

“Sugar Bear,” he said, the growl in his voice giving way to something far softer. I’d never wanted to grasp onto something so much in my life and I shouldn’t. “I’m here,” he said and the weight of his cheek pressed against my temple as he kept me wrapped up tight.

“We’re going,” Remy said, and it seemed to come from a great distance. “You have this?”

Something taut inside of me snapped.

“I have it, and her. Figure out the Reynolds guy.”

“I don’t know if?—”

“Fuck off, Locke,” McQuade snarled the order, the hot tears pouring out of me seemed to slash at the cracks, melting the ice. “I have her. If I think—” All at once he cut himself off, then he was lifting me upward and I couldn’t even see him for the tears blurring my vision. “If she asks for you…I’ll get you.”

The last was a concession, even I could hear it. But I couldn’t get the sobbing to stop. The ragged emotions were done being bottled. They kicked open every compartment, scattering their debris everywhere.

Facing McQuade abruptly, I realized our heads were almost on the same level. No, he was carrying me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and dug my nails into his shoulders.