Page 16 of Don't Let Go

“Well, I understand you being uncomfortable, but not the why. We’renotstrangers, Sugar Bear. Pretty sure we went over that earlier today.”

A sigh escaped her and I let my fingers trail down her arm. It was just a light petting motion. The first sign of resistance and I would stop. But I could practically feel the stress draining out of her.

Yeah, her mind was still trying to reconcile what it could remember—the past, the present, and the gap in between. As much as I wanted to put her at ease, a part of me did not have a problem with her memory loss. If it meant she got to forget the pain and the torture, I was fine with her not having to deal with it.

Except, she was still dealing with it. Not knowing ate away at her. Not remembering also didn’t protect her from encountering those assholes again. If she couldn’t recognize them, how did she avoid them?

“You do realize this is weird, right?” The question dared me to disagree with her and my smile grew.

“Not all that weird. I’ve been comforting you out of those bad dreams since they started.” From the first night I’d heard her crying. No fucking way was I staying on the other side of the door and letting her suffer.

It wasn’t going to happen. Not while there was breath in my body to stop it.

“That’s the weird part,” she admitted. Then to my surprise, she settled back against my chest. Her ear pressed right over my heart. “You guys have this history with me I can’t access, and it’s shifted our relationships, clearly. But I don’t know all the details.”

“That’s the part that bothers you.” It wasn’t a question. “Let’s see if I can ease this for you. You have all the control here. If you really want me to let you go. I will.”

I paused right there. She was awake and the dreams had let her go. So, it was safe for me to release her. Rather than accept the offer, she relaxed more against me. I went back to my light petting of her back, rubbing gentle circles there.

“Thank you,” she said in a voice so low it was nearly a whisper.

“You’re welcome,” I told her and then kissed the top of her head. Some of her hair snagged against my stubble, so I smoothed it away. I should probably shave in the morning. It was getting to near whiskers again.

“John…”

I went still at the use of my given name. “Yes?”

She didn’t respond for the longest time and I half-thought she’d gone back to sleep. Finally, she sighed. “Never mind.”

“Hmm, talk to me Sugar Bear.”

Her half-snort wasn’t quite a laugh, but I’d take it. “That’s my line.”

“But I said it this time. So talk to me. Tell me what’s going on in that beautiful head of yours?”

“I don’t even know the answer to that.” She shifted against me, but she didn’t pull away. I lifted my hands so she could make herself more comfortable and she settled against my side.

One thigh hitched against mine, but safely away from the not-so-subtle boner I’d been sporting since she started wiggling. She moved her cheek to my shoulder and spread one of her hands out over my chest right above my heart.

“Right, let’s try this.” I settled my arms around her again and just rested my hand on her hip. If I started rubbing her back now, I’d be playing with her ass too. Not the best idea at the moment.

Later, I promised myself.

We were going to have a later.

“What were you thinking when you called me John?”

More silence, but I waited her out. Her breath feathered against my throat, teasing the skin and electrifying me with each exhale. I stroked my thumb up and down in a short, isolated motion that didn’t venture near her ass.

Course, now that I’d thought about her ass, I couldn’t stop imagining gripping her ass as I sank her down on my cock. That made the boner about ten times more uncomfortable.

Right, I needed to start thinking about bullets, gunpowder loads, and distance between targets. Not that it was distracting me at all from the weight of her resting against me.

“That maybe you could tell me a story.” It was such an unexpected request, I blinked and waited. Waited long enoughthat she let out a little cough. “I know it’s ridiculous but each time I close my eyes, I feel like he’s right there waiting to burn me again.”

He.

Anger was acid in my blood.

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