Page 13 of Don't Let Go

It let me access their equipment remotely. I could turn on their cams, scan the area around them. Location services could be turned on if they were off and it let me track them locally.

“You know where we live,” Remy said abruptly, the surprise on his face turning troubled. “You know a great deal more than you’ve ever admitted.”

“Guilty,” I said. “So maybe you three should decide if you can trust me too.”

“I don’t need to decide,” McQuade said flatly. “You’ve saved my life, Sugar Bear. I’m here for the long haul.”

“Same,” Locke said. “Though now it makes me think I’m going to need to be more clever about birthday presents.”

Unlike the others, Remy wasn’t as quick with his assurances. His eyes narrowed as he studied me.

“I’m sure that’s discomforting,” I told him by way of an apology. “I needed to know. That doesn’t mean you aren’t going to be happy that I know your secrets. It’s making me crazy that I don’t know how they found me.”

He nodded slowly but still said nothing. My stomach bottomed out. If the deep dives turned their trust, then I had no one to blame but myself.

“For what it’s worth, I disabled the worms after we decided to finalize the contracts. Everything else I sent you, I told you about.” They each had devices I could access remotely, and I’d always told them to make it a secondary one. It protected their privacy and it was easier to ditch and destroy in the event they were compromised.

Scratching his jaw, Remy looked more thoughtful than annoyed. I could almost read the unasked questions in his eyes. He wanted to talk to me. He did not want to talk to me in front of them.

I nodded to him and some of the stone seemed to ease out of his expression. “I’d apologize,” I said slowly. “But to be perfectly honest…”

“You had a job to do and protecting yourself is the first step.” Locke gave my leg another gentle squeeze. The contact had been a little uncomfortable at first. The feeling proved fleeting the longer he rested his hand in place. “Never going to complain about that, Fallon. You should never apologize for it, either.”

“What he said,” McQuade grunted. “But he wants to know if you saw him naked already because it might cost him some points overall.”

“Fuck off,” Locke said, cutting him a look. “You best hope she hasn’t seen me naked. You’re already running behind in the points department.”

McQuade snorted, but Remy just rolled his eyes even as I tried to keep from laughing

“The point,” I pressed on, lips twitching. We needed to get back on topic. “Yes, I did research you and investigated you to make sure you were who you said you were. Some of your career choices were colorful. I needed to know you weren’t… horrible people.” I winced. “Do you have some questionable career choices? Maybe.”

It was my turn to shrug.

“My hands aren’t exactly clean. But I wanted to know…” How did I phrase this that didn’t sound condescending or shitty?

“That we were honorable,” Remy said, the lilt to his words softening the implication that I’d questioned the fact at all. “That you could trust us.”

“Yes.”

“So,” McQuade said, pouncing on that fact. “If you could trust us then, don’t you think you can trust us now?”

Lips parted, I studied him for the longest moment, then looked to Remy, and finally down to Locke. While I detected no signs of malice or dishonesty, it was still uncomfortable.

“In theory,” I began slowly. “Yes, I should be able to trust you now.”

“Except?” Locke prompted.

I licked my lips again. The answer was right there on the tip of my tongue, but it was a terrible confession. My heartbeat seemed almost too loud, too fierce. If I admitted it to them, I was also admitting it to myself.

Closing my eyes, I blockedthemout. I concentrated on regulating my breathing and bringing the sudden gallop of my pulse under control. Locke flexed his hand on my knee again. I covered his hand with mine more on impulse than anything else.

He was offering comfort and I wanted to accept it. Forcing my eyes open, I said, “I’m scared. If I’m wrong… it’s not just me, I’m risking.”

Understanding crystalized in Remy’s eyes even as McQuade frowned, but it was Locke who blew out a slow whistle. “If one of us proves untrustworthy, you’re worried about what he’ll do to the other two?”

“Yes.” As much as I hated to admit that, I hated thinking it more. “I want to trust you. I think… on some levels I do. But so much of this is confusing. It’s all messy and strange. Like I said before, I still don’t know how they found me. Or how you guys found me wherever I was and you’ve been very circumspect about the details.”

“You’re right,” Locke said. “Then this is what we do. SITREP, gentlemen. Let’s brief her on how we discovered she was missing, when we met, and how we found her. I would prefer, however,” he continued, gazing up at me, “to avoid the specifics of where you were and how you were when we found you until you’re ready to process it.”

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