Page 75 of Bonding the Band

“That’s just…how it gets in my head when I’m not properly distracted.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

I never wanted to, but if she was going to feel those spirals, I might as well give her a bit of insight. She dragged me to the kitchen and put on the kettle for some tea, and she looked so fucking perfect maneuvering around the space in nothing but a bedsheet that it stole my breath.

So, while we sipped some chamomile that had probably been in our cabinets for the last five years, I told her about my fixation with the 27 Club and the certainty that I was destined to join it. Meadow absorbed all of the information and climbed onto my lap, taking my hand and pressing it against her belly.

“The 27 Club can’t have you. We’ve already called dibs.”

It shouldn’t have shaken me so deeply, but it did. I knew that dibs wouldn’t save me, but it was something to grab on to, nonetheless.

“Have you talked to a professional about this?” she asked after a few moments of silence.

“With what time?”

“Hendrix, this is something you have tomaketime for. You owe it to yourself, to all of us, to take care of yourself. I barely even know you, but I still know I want you to stick around.”

“I’ll find someone when the tour is over. Is that okay?”

Meadow lifted a pouting mouth to me, and before she could speak, I lowered to kiss her, stealing all of that soft sweetness for myself.

“I know sooner is better. But also better late than never?”

Her lip pouted once more, as if it was committed to giving me the distraction I needed, and I gave in again, sliding my arms around her.

“You can’t just keep kissing me to avoid the conversation,” she insisted, eventually pushing me away.

“You make it so easy.”

Meadow pressed her lips into a thin line, but after a second, I could see the curve on the sides. “You’re ridiculous.”

“That’s all part of my charm. So, which of the pack is responsible for your very stylish ensemble?”

Meadow stared down at the sheet, as if she’d just remembered that was the only thing she was wearing. Her cheeks flushed hot pink.

“Phin or Beckett?” I asked.

“Both.”

That answer caught me off guard, and I burst out laughing while her lip dropped into another of those delectable pouts. “I’m sorry for laughing. I just wasn’t expecting that. Both at once is quite the choice. I didn’t think you had it in you.”

She glared adorably. “Donotquestion my life choices when you were one of them.”

That only made me laugh again. “I love your choices, dream girl. My greedy little omega claiming every alpha in the house.”

Her cheeks puffed up like an angry chipmunk.

“It’s a good thing,” I promised. “I’m glad you’re getting along with the pack.”

She snuggled against me even harder, tucking her head under my chin. “I’m not talking to you right now.”

If she wanted to sit in silence, I was completely fine with that. I was just glad she wanted to do that right where she was. I held her tighter, breathing in her floral scent and letting it push back the edges of my anxiety. It wasn’t a real fix, especially since I couldn’t have her stuck to me at all hours, but it was nice to have a reprieve, however temporary it might be. Meadow’s purr was like a buzz saw, the soft rumbling vibrating my chest and untangling the knots of insecurity, thread by thread.

It had been beyond stupid of me to bond Meadow, but it was really hard to feel regret when I was holding her in my arms.

“Do you want to come back to Beckett’s room?” she asked.

“Pretty sure it’ll be crowded with four of us in there.”

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