Page 57 of Bonding the Band

I was already a disappointment to her. Not that I expected I was anything else, or probablywould beanything else. If I didn’t get my shit together, Meadow wasn’t going to want anything to do with me. As unprepared for matehood and fatherhood as I was, the idea that either would be taken away from me made me queasy.

“I’ll do better,” I promised.

Her expression softened. “Okay.”

Chapter 23

Hendrix

August, Chicago

“Ihave a confession.”

Gary rolled his eyes before settling into a glare. “What now? What fuckup do I have to fix?”

I flinched at his words. “There’s nothing to fix this time.”

“Uh-huh. Kid, just tell me. I don’t have all day.”

We had given him until the next day to cool down, getting through the Minneapolis show just fine and moving on to Chicago for the first of three shows spread over four nights. I felt guilty over the black eye he was sporting, but there were only so many ways I could react when someone talked about my mate the way he had, even if he hadn’t known who she was.

“Meadow isn’t our assistant. I mean, we’d like to get her on payroll for that, but that’s not why she’s here.”

“I already know the four of you picked up a little toy. Why are you bringing her up again?”

I bit down on a growl. “She’s not that, either.”

“Well, spit it out.”

“She’s my mate.”

Gary went slack-jawed, staring at me like I had lost my fucking mind. “Yourwhat?”

“She’s pregnant, too,” I said, going for broke. “And we bonded.”

“You said there was nothing to fix. Hendrix, this is a big fucking problem. Your whole goddamn brand is about being available.”

“Then we change the brand.”

“No one wants a rock star with a baby. Jesus, way to blow up the entire illusion. So, why is she around? Is she threatening to sue you for child support? You know that’s the only reason girls like that fuck rock stars. They want a payday.”

“No! Being apart from her is the reason I felt like shit.”

Gary’s expression shifted, like a lightbulb was turning on in his head. “Okay. This makes way more sense now. We use her until the bond settles down, and then we go back to normal after we pay her off, right?”

I stared at him like I had never seen him before. “No. She stays as long as she wants to.”

Gary sighed. “You really love to make everyone’s lives more difficult, don’t you? It’s bad enough you bonded her, but you want to expose a kid to you too? What did that baby ever do to make you think it deserved a parent that fucks up as much as you?”

His words were like glass shards, cutting to the quick and made all the worse because they were things I had thought about myself already. “I’m not allowed to try?”

“Hendrix, I say this with all the love in the world: you can try all you want, but you’re not going to succeed here. We both know you’re too selfish to give up your life to play house.”

We were both silent and staring at each other, my heart crumbling as I realized the truth of his words. Maybe not the selfish part, but giving up this life meant the guys would suffer,and being in Meadow’s life meant getting to see just how terrible of a parent I’d be.

“But,” Gary eventually said, “if you’re committed to keeping her around, we’ll make it work until she gets tired of all this.”

I didn’t want her to get tired of this, but there was nothing I could do to stop it. “Thanks.”

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