Page 21 of Forever Mr Black

What the fuck does that mean?

My heartbeat thuds in my ears at his menacing words. But I’m determined not to let him see how he affects me. He had that satisfaction for too long while we were together. I’m not that Sophie anymore. But he’s still the same Theo.

“You haven’t changed a bit.”

“I have changed,” he insists. “I’m a better man. I’ve stopped drinking and smoking. You always hated me drinking and smoking, didn’t you?”

My stomach turns over. The pungent smell of cigarettes dominates my nightmares. I swallow down the bile threatening to rise in my throat at the memories and look him straight in the eye. “I didn’t have a problem with you drinking. I had a problem with what you did to me when you were drunk.”

My response wipes the smirk off his face, and he lowers his eyes to the pavement, as though he’s unable to look at me. “Until we sit down and talk, things just keep going round and round in my head. I’ve things I need to say to you …”

“You’re fucking crazy. Why would I want to sit and listen to what you’ve got to say?”

“And I know there will be things you want to say to me,” he carries on, ignoring me. “One day, you were there, and the next minute, you were gone. I didn’t know what to do. We’d been together years. I met someone else last year. She was nice and caring and wanted to be with me. But I was still in love with you. And do you know what happened?” He shakes his head angrily. “I destroyed her. Don’t you think you owe me? You’re the reason I can’t find happiness with anyone else.”

Bastard.

“You destroyed her because that’s what you do to everyone,” I spit. “No matter how you think you’ve changed, you’re just the same. You’ve got a black heart, rotten to the core. I’m never going to talk to you about any of it, Theo. Give it up.”

He cuts his eyes as he realises that he’s not going to get what he wants. “I really wish you hadn’t said that.”

There’s a shuffling noise from behind him, and he spins around. For a split second, I hope it’s Art and then realise he’s still at work. Relief crashes through me as I see Derek, the concierge, standing on the front steps of the apartment block. He eyes Theo suspiciously. Of course. The CCTV. He must have noticed us on the security cameras outside the front of the building.

“Is everything okay, Miss Ward?”

Theo throws me a resigned look, sensing his time’s up. He jams his hands into the pockets of his jacket and skulks off up the street. I watch him until he disappears into the darkness, out of sight. I need to know he’s gone.

“Miss Ward?” Derek looks at me expectantly and gestures towards the entrance doors. “Would you like me to accompany you inside?”

I let out a long exhale. I wasn’t even aware I’d been holding my breath. I can hear the words but can’t process a response. Now that Theo’s gone, shock has replaced anger. My legs feel like jelly as adrenaline kicks in, and I know I need to move before I collapse. There’s no way I’m sitting in an empty apartment all on my own after what just happened.

I bend down and scoop up my car keys with trembling fingers and force my brain to work. “No, thank you, Derek. There’s somewhere I need to go.”

Six

My brain switches to autopilot. The car navigates through the dark streets seemingly of its own accord. I’ve no recollection of driving to Dark Desires, but when I eventually arrive, it’s nearly one in the morning. I’m mentally drained. Every muscle in my body aches with tension. Anxiety-induced nausea coils tight in my stomach.

I’ve tried to call Art, but his phone rang out. He’s busy, which makes me want to be here even less. But I can’t be at home alone either.

My heels slip on the cobblestones as I head over to the entrance to the club, swearing under my breath. There’s not even a friendly, familiar face at the door to greet me. I don’t recognise the gruff-looking bouncer. He bobs his head in acknowledgment as I enter the club.

The beat of the dance track pummels through my brain. Two women are twirling around the shiny pole beneath the spotlight onstage, stopping to give each other anexaggerated kiss for the entertainment of the mainly male clientele occupying the tables tonight.

I’m acutely aware my formal grey pencil skirt and white blouse make me stick out like a sore thumb among the dressed-up revellers. I feel even more like I don’t belong. I clutch my handbag to my body as if it were a shield and hurry on through the club.

The music fades into the distance as I enter the door marked Staff Only, which I recognise from the time I came here with Art. I silently hope that I don’t run into Tara because I’m not sure I could cope with locking horns with her tonight. Just as I remember, the short corridor leads to the Manager’s Office. I sag against the door in relief, knock once, and push it open.

I expect to find Art sitting behind the desk, watching the CCTV cameras, but he’s not. There’s no one here. A cardboard box half-filled with someone’s stuff is on the desk. My heart sinks. After the night I’ve had, I need him—his lips on mine, his arms wrapped around me. I need him to tell me everything’s going to be okay because I’m not sure that it is.

I hear a click behind me and spin round.

Jamie, the manager, stands behind the door. His piercing blue eyes rake up my body. My skin crawls.

“Maybe this isn’t going to be such a shitty last night after all.”

The sneer in his voice and the way he’s looking at me put me on edge.

“Where’s Art?”

---