Page 61 of Doubling Down

“This is sounding like a cult,” Eric said as he scowled.

“I don’t think so.” Ezra shrugged. “They were just very religious. When I think of cults, I think of isolation and drinking the Kool-Aid. It wasn’t like that. We went to stores, had dinner out—I even went to college.”

“There are over a hundred cults in the United States, and they come in many forms, sizes, and beliefs. They are dangerous though,” Eric told him.

“Maybe.” Ezra wasn’t sure what to think. He hadn’t been isolated growing up. Like he said, they went to town and out to eat. His parents had just kept him close until he’d gone to college. “It was common for the kids in our congregation to go to college. The preacher would decide what would benefit them the most and that’s what we would study. I was supposed to go into civil engineering.”

“Was that even something that you were interested in?”

“No,” Ezra admitted. “But I wanted to go to college. To not live at home any longer.”

“Understandable,” Eric told him.

“I might have gone a little crazy when I was on my own for the first time. I could choose my own clothes, friends, what I ate. I partied pretty hard the first year. I did settle some during the second semester and that was when I met Cameron. Annabelle’s mom.”

Eric squeezed him hard.

“Cameron was fun. Easy to be around. Gorgeous. I didn’t even know that I could like both guys and girls. In church being gay or bi was a sin. Cameron was bi and we just clicked.”

“I’m glad you were able to explore. That’s what college is for.”

“Like I said, I might have taken that too far. I was fucking both men and women. I always used a condom. I knew once I went back home with my degree that the preacher would have my wife picked out and I would be expected to marry fast.”

Eric shuddered. “Sounds horrifying.”

“I thought it was normal until I spoke to Cameron, my roommate, and my friends. They showed me different. It was fun.”

“Then Cameron got pregnant?” Eric guessed.

“Yeah, we had hooked up at one of the frat parties. I used a condom, but we were both too drunk to notice that it broke until the next morning. Cameron’s parents didn’t believe in birth control, so she wasn’t on any. We thought it would be fine. Whatwere the chances that she would get pregnant the first time we had a mishap with a condom?”

Eric snorted. “I would say pretty high since I’ve met your precious baby girl.”

Ezra sighed. “We ignored the signs. Like if we didn’t talk about her morning sickness or gaining weight, it would just go away.”

“Baby.”

“I know!” Ezra exclaimed. “I’d just turned twenty. I was young and dumb.”

Eric’s lips twitched. “And full of come?”

“Exactly. Cameron and I were still close, but I’d found the club and had just started to explore my little side. She came to me when she was six months pregnant and couldn’t ignore the baby growing inside her anymore.”

“That had to be hard.”

“I took her to the doctor and it was confirmed. We were going to be parents.”

“Except that wasn’t what she wanted.”

“We talked through all out options. We could get married and raise her. We weren’t in love but close friends. Her parents refused to help her, and I was too scared to tell my mom and dad. She was the one that brought up adoption. We made an appointment with an agency but at one of her doctor appointments, I heard the baby’s heartbeat.”

“Oh, Ezra.”

Tears fell again, but this time they were from a fond memory. “It was amazing. My little baby, and I couldn’t let her go. I asked Cameron to let me take our baby. She wasn’t sure at first. I was barely older than a kid, but I knew what I wanted. She agreed but only if I never contacted her again. She would give me the baby, but I lost a friend.”

“It must have been a hard decision for her,” Eric said.

Ezra was thankful that Eric understood. That he wasn’t blaming Cameron. “It was hard, and I thought a few times that she would change her mind. She signed over all rights to me when she had Annabelle and I never heard from her again. I dropped out of school and went home. I had no idea how my parents would react.”

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