Page 19 of Before He Was Her Headmaster

“We should talk about something else. Your thesis, for example.”

I let him change the subject, but I know what I’m reading more of when I get back to my room.

Chapter 8

Sebastian

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I should be able to go an entire conversation with Lily without saying something inappropriate. But apparently, I have zero restraint with her. And she gives as good as I do. Pulling out her tablet and looking up spanking? Pointing out that it’s either about being horny or terrible parenting?

I wanted to drag her over the table and promise it could be the best kind of caregiving she might ever receive and threaten to spank the brat right out of her. Except we weren’t alone in the dining hall, and I have never in my life spanked a woman. I’m not sure why I’m threatening to start now.

But the threat felt like a heady promise.

I’m a grown man. I know what kink is.

That it might befor meis a brand new concept, though. When curfew falls and the campus goes dark, I head through the forest to my private residence. I don’t stand in the shadows and watch Lily get ready for bed. I head straight home instead and have a cold shower that does nothing for the dark thoughts that don’t feel nearly wrong enough.

* * *

Every day for the next month, we have encounters like that. Brief, public conversations that look innocent enough to outside observers, but each time I can’t help but lower my voice to a private, husky note.

I love the way her eyes light up at my attention. And I crave those moments myself. There’s no denying it, so I don’t even try. I stop myself from touching her but can’t completely stay away.

Our creative writing group is my favorite hour of the entire week. I often jerk off to the image of her slowly consuming an apple as she works. And she’s not just sex fodder for me. I love the look of concentration on her face as she scribbles in her notebook, the careful and earnest way she listens to her classmates. The thoughtful feedback she gives and the surprising way she blushes when others like her work.

She’s a complicated woman, a tangle of contradictions. Brazenly cocky and stubbornly uninterested in authority, yet secretly unsure of herself and desperate for the right kind of attention.

I give her as much as is appropriate given our roles. I take perverse pleasure in writing her critique notes on lined paper, folding them in half, and handing them over to her. She reads them all in front of me, squirming in delight at the praise I give her.

Your scene-setting is very well done here. I can imagine myself there, touching and hearing everything.

Entirely innocent.

I want more from you in this character sketch. Show me what’s inside her. I know you can do it. You’ve done it before.

Nothing wrong with that.

I want to take you away from here and fuck you until neither of us can stand properly…I don’t write that one down. It wouldn’t be constructive because we can’t. It would just make her feel bad, and that’s the last thing I want.

And as we flirt, I slowly gain her trust. She tells me she’s nervous about her father trying to interfere with her studies here. I promise her that nothing will get in the way of her graduating at the end of the term.

It takes a few weeks to convince her I won’t betray her trust.

Then one day after class, Lily asks me to read something new she’s written. “It’s not ready for group feedback,” she says before scampering out the door. “Just for you.”

I know I started this version of our game, a dangerous flirtation under the guise of classwork, but I’m not prepared for the handwritten essay title:

Virginity is just a social construct

It’s satire and clearly over the top, but at the core is a thesis that rips away all the pretending I’ve been doing about our relationship. And what I’ve already done to her.

Chapter 9

Lily

Sebastian finds me in the library that night. I’m on the third floor in the stacks, looking for a book on Sherlock Holmes. He appears at the end of the row, blocking the light. “You skipped dinner,” he rumbles.

“That’s not why you’re here, though.”

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