‘Because I’m red.’
Nico sighed. ‘Please stand up, Menoetes.’
The bull-man did, then dusted himself off. ‘The world doesn’t come to a standstill just because you’re demigods.’
‘No one said it did!’ said Nico. ‘We just need to pass through for … uh …’ He looked down at Screech-Bling.
‘For the shortcut,’ said the troglodyte.
‘The shortcut?’ Menoetes snorted. ‘The shortcut towhere?’
Before Nico could reply, Hiss-Majesty blurted out, ‘Oh, they’re going to Tartarus!’ The trog’s eyes glowed with admiration.
‘Tartarus?!’ Menoetes burst into laughter. He doubled over, clutching at his ripped abs. ‘Oh, this is perfect. Thank you so much, my young troglodyte! You’ve given me exactly what I need!’
‘What does that mean?’ asked Will.
Menoetes snapped back to attention. ‘It means I willabsolutelytell Hades that you two are traipsing around his realm without his knowledge. He won’t be too thrilled about that, will he, Nico?’
Nico could feel the sweat breaking out on his forehead. ‘Don’t do that, Menoetes. You can’t.’
‘I can’t?’ Menoetes shrugged. ‘I could call on him right now. Or even write him aletter.’
‘Please! He can’t know –’
‘“Dear Hades, how are you?”’ said Menoetes while he mimed writing. ‘“Hope you’re doing swell. Your cows arelovely, and the nectar reserves are overflowing this season. By the way, your son brought another demigod into your realm – a child of Apollo, no less! – and they’re totally walking into Tartarus. Yes, that’s right, the place you expressly forbade anyone else to enter. Love you! Signed, your faithful and loyal cattle driver, Menoetes.”’
To cap off the performance, the bull demon pretended to fold up the letter, stuff it in an envelope and seal it with a kiss.
‘Are you done?’ Nico asked.
‘Maybe,’ Menoetes said. ‘Depends on what you’re willing to offer menotto tell your father.’
Nico tried not to groan. ‘What is it you want this time, Menoetes?’
‘Me? You’re askingme?’ He feigned surprise. ‘Well, that’s so sweet of you to think of my needs!’
‘This demon is very dramatic,’ noted Screech-Bling.
‘Every day of every year of the last two thousand, seven hundred years!’ said Menoetes. ‘Get used to it!’
Nico pressed his lips together. ‘Okay, let’s make the usual unfair trade: we complete some inane task for you; you let us pass without interference.’
Menoetes giggled, which was a strange sound coming from agiant bull-headed man. ‘Isn’t that what heroes are for, Nico? You’re always out there pointlessly retrieving items for some misguided moral goal. Why can’tItake advantage of it?’
‘What do youwant?’ Nico said sharply.
‘Fruit,’ he said. ‘Specifically, fruit from Persephone’s garden.’
Nico’s heart dropped to the bottom of his stomach. ‘You know that’s not possible.’
‘And you know it’s not possible for you to enter Tartarus,’ said Menoetes. ‘So we’re at an impasse already. Wouldn’t you like to resolve this?’
Screech-Bling folded his arms. ‘You ask too much, bull-man farmer. The troglodytes would never visit Persephone’s garden.’
‘Never,’ agreed Hiss-Majesty. ‘Despite how shiny it is.’
Screech-Bling gazed dreamily into the distance. ‘Yes. So very shiny …’