Page 10 of The Sky Between Us

“I know,” I looked over at his cute little innocent face. “I think you need to ask dad when you can watch their practice. I’m not sure about their schedule.”

“Will you come with me? Do you think Aiden can play with me other days when he is less tired after practice?”

I didn’t want to point it out to him that Aiden didn’t need to be less tried to play with him, nor the fact that I was the last person to be questioned about that guy.

“We’ll see.”

“Dooooo you like him?” he asked me teasingly. “I like this girl in my pre-school. She is very cute, but she hates soccer.”

I bit down my lips and tried not to laugh. “I bet she is. What’s her name?”

“Andrea,” he giggled and kicked the ball again. “I hit her with the ball accidentally, and she was super mad at me. Like her ears were blowing flames. It was funny. But she got even more upset when I started laughing. I guess she doesn’t like me.”

“Love and hate are very close to each other,” I pointed out smilingly. “Sometimes you think you hate someone, only to discover that your real feelings are way more pleasant. We hate people to protect ourselves, until we are ready to face the truth.”

“That’s complicated,” Sky said after a few moments of silence. “I think I will just stick to soccer. That’s pretty straightforward.”

This time around I let out a laugh. “You do that, buddy.”

“Hazel,” Sky said my name softly and looked down at me. “Are you going to dance again?”

“No, I don’t think so,” I shook my head and tried to ignore the emptiness I felt in my heart. I loved to dance. I loved it more than Sky loved soccer. But I had to give it up. I had to make a choice, and that choice required me to sacrifice the only thing I ever really loved. Dance.

“Don’t you miss winning all those cool trophies?” He blabbed on, but I didn’t listen to him. I tried to shut out his voice and keep my sanity. I couldn’t let my sadness consume me. I had to be stronger than that.

“Listen, Sky, some people don’t get to follow their dreams. That’s why you need to focus on soccer and never give up, okay?” I picked up his ball and smiled. “Promise?”

“Promise,” he nodded, and his dark hair followed his movement. “Will you ask Aiden to play with me?”

I took a deep breath and briefly closed my eyes. “Yes, I will,” I agreed, because as long as I’d agree to get him Aiden, he would back off my dancing career topic.

“Dad?”

Leaving Sky outside to play, I walked through our backyard straight into the messy kitchen. The smell of pancakes filled the air, and my dad, the big bad coach of the Dolphins, was standing there flipping them. “Why did you talk to him about dance?”

“He kept asking about it when he saw a video of you,” he replied protectively, as he moved to place a fluffy pancake on top of another. “I agree. You should do it again. It used to make you happy, Hazel. At this stage, I’m not sure anything ever made you that happy. I need to see you content and satisfied with life again.”

“Yeah, but it’s too late, dad, so just don’t ever bring it up again,” I shook my head, turning away to leave the room frustrated with him and myself.

“Does that mean I have to watch you be miserable for the rest of your life?” His voice stopped me, but I didn’t turn to face him. I could feel tears burn behind my eyes and I quickly blinked them away.

“Yes.”

One single tear escaped, and it was making its way down my cheek as I slammed the door behind me.

Once I made it back to campus, I still wasn’t in the mood to socialize. I needed my own peace of mind to calm myself. Usually, I would have driven in circles until my mind settled, but I didn’t trust myself in the car when I was so deep in self-hatred. We all made mistakes, especially when we were younger. Every teenager does stupid things. One bad decision can just as easily ruin our lives. And that’s what happened to me.

Because of a soccer player.

Because I liked him.

Because I let him talk me into drinking.

Because I was too drunk and too in love.

Where was Jake now? Enjoying his soccer scholarship and living his dream, while my dreams had to fall to pieces. Life was so unfair, and I was stupid, but I wasn’t lying when I told Aiden I was a bitch in high school because I was. I guess karma came around pretty quickly for me. All those times I laughed and made fun of others burned in the back of my mind. I thought I was better than them. I thought I was the best. National Champion, Junior and Teen Best Dancer, Youth American Grand Prix winner. I had all these titles. The captain of the soccer team was my boyfriend. I was the girl who had it all. A dance prodigy who managed to juggle going to public school and have a dance career. The one who competed almost every single weekend and won. The one who peaked too early and shined too bright, too soon. Now, I am only a memory. I knew I couldn’t hold on to that memory forever, but I wasn’t ready to let it go. I wasn’t ready to accept that my life has become such a mess. But it was for five years now, all because of one drunken mistake.

I pressed my head into my palms and tried to calm my breathing. I needed to move on, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t forgive myself. I forgave Jake. I understood him, even if I didn’t agree it was solely my mistake. We both made a mistake. Why should I be the only one paying the price? It was unfair, but I already knew that.

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