Page 57 of The Sky Between Us

“What do you know about dancing?” she snorted, reminding me of myself at her age. Teenagers always believed they knew everything better.

“Besides, everything?” I tilted my head in defiance. “I dance too.”

Her eyes sized me up. The wheels of her brain spun trying to place me somewhere.

“Your leg holds turns,” I nodded towards her. “Your prep is too long and it makes you sit back on your heel.”

She made a face, as if she didn’t believe me. “Sure. Can you show me?” her voice dripped of sarcasm, which made me heel out of my boots and walk next to her. The studio was simple with one mirrored wall, Bluetooth speaker and Marley floors. Standing in a short preparation, I kicked my leg up and did two consecutive turns before placing it down.

“As I said, you need a short prep so you can find your balance quicker,” I said as I pulled my dress down. “Stand in prep.”

Camilla followed my instructions and stood in her usual preparation with two feet distance between her legs. Holding her shoulder, I said: “Releve and kick your leg to a leg hold.”

As she did it her leg had to go all the way around and without me standing there, she would have fallen.

A curse escaped her, but I didn’t let her get too hot headed. “Put your back leg closer. Even closer. Now.”

Camilla muttered something under her breath that I couldn’t understand.

“What was that?” I asked her as she adjusted her preparation.

“It’s easy for you because you are skinny,” she repeated with a sniff.

“Trust me, it’s just practice,” I said encouragingly and nodded. “Try again.”

This time around her leg was able to shoot up quicker into the leg hold helping her find balance more easily. As she placed her heel on the floor and lowered her leg, a beaming smile lit up her face.

“Wow, that was easy!” she squealed happily. “Thank you!”

“No problem,” I shrugged. “You know, it’s all just a matter of finding the tricks that work for you.”

“I guess, but how did you know?” She wiped the sweat from her forehead and dropped to the ground. Following her, I sat cross legged next to her and smiled.

“You know, once upon a time, I was just like you,” I leaned back, looking at her. “Aiden told me you are running for Senior Best Dancer?”

Camilla nodded. “I really, really, really want it this season. But I’m getting a lot of dizzy spells so my teachers told me I can’t take classes now…” she shook her head. “Have you ever won Best Dancer?”

“Yeah,” I stared at the distance. “Only Mini, Junior and Teen.”

“Why not Senior?” she asked, her eyes wide and eager for more information.

“I had dizzy spells too,” I looked back at her trying to find the balance between pep talk and real talk. “Plus, boys came into the picture and let’s just say, I never got there.”

“Boys are the worst,” she exhaled loudly. “I liked this one from my classroom and he told me he would never be with me because it would be painful to have sex with a skeleton.”

A gasp escaped me and shock must have been written all over my face. No wonder she was crushed, teenagers were mean.

“It’s fine,” Camilla shrugged and went on. “I don’t like him that much, I prefer dancing. But sometimes…”

“You just want to be able to control things?” I asked her, sadness clogging my voice. Sometimes I still had that urge to control everything around me, but life wasn’t something we could control, the only thing I had the power over was food.

Camilla nodded and bit down, her lower lips trembling. “I don’t know how to do this. Mom and dad won’t let me go to school; my dance teacher won’t let me dance. It’s like no one wants to let me do anything anymore.”

“Have you tried talking to a therapist?” I asked, despite them not working for me, she seemed like someone who needed to share. “It’s easier to talk to a stranger.”

“But you understand,” she muttered, tears clouding her eyes. “No one else does. They all think it’s something I can just turn off or stop, when I can’t. It’s not that easy.”

“No, it isn’t,” I nodded, unsure if I should console her or just leave her, but that unknown part of me, the mothering won and I found myself pulling her into a hug and with careful movement I caressed her back. “But the trick to it is that you need to realize only you can change things. No one else can. You parents and your teacher can tell you all they want, but ultimately, everything is in your hands. Only you have the power to change. And that’s the scary part.”

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