Page 81 of The Sky Between Us

His eyes roamed my face taking in the messy bun on top of my hair and my eyes that were puffy and tired from the sleepless nights I caused myself. My tiredness mirrored his.

We were both exhausted from this silent dance we were doing.

It was only fair to get closure we both needed.

“Hi,” he said back in the same quiet manner. “Want to go for a ride?”

With a silent nod, I slid into my Nike shoes by the door and grabbing a jacket just in case, I pulled the door behind me. There was no need to alert Sky and make this more dreadful.

Without a word we climbed into his Audi and he started it, heading for the Bayview Park. The Park was located just between our university and Little Hollywood where my parents lived. My eyes travel to the rearview mirror, sneaking a look at the backseat and memories flooding me of us cuddling, sleeping and making love on that uncomfortable backseat. A sad smile tugged on my lips as Aiden caught my eyes and he smiled too. It wasn’t a flirty one, nor a cocky one. Rather a small melancholic one that I’ve never seen him wear before. But there was a first time for everything. For the first laugh, first kiss, first fight and first heartbreak. They were all parts of us.

I always thought I loved Jake and he broke me. But sitting in the parked car, suffocating tension lingering between us as we weren’t ready to say what we had to, was already taking a piece of me. Jake didn’t break me, but Aiden definitely will.

“I know the past couple of days were… different,” he said, staring at the steering wheel as if that could give him direction. But the car remained motionless, while the conversation had to go on. “Your dad found me a soccer agent, or rather, football agent since he is associated with European clubs.”

“I know,” I said, my voice sounding strange to my own ears. “Dad told me.”

“So…” Aiden drummed his fingers on the wheel and he looked out the window, his eyes travelling across all the greenery. He and Sky played a lot of soccer in this park. It used to be our place. Somewhere where the three of us could spend time together without any prying eyes.

“You are going to Europe.”

“I am… in January for trials… and then we will see,” he said, slowly articulating every word as if he himself was unsure of what was leaving his mouth. “Jeremy, my agent, said there’s a chance they could sign me right away. They all saw videos of me, they just want to meet me and do some trials, see how I work with the team. But… I don’t know.”

He knew. Just couldn’t say it.

There was a possibility that he wouldn’t return for the next semester.

“Okay,” I nodded like a moron, unsure what to say.

“I could tell you to come with me,” he said, his voice breaking from the emotions hidden behind it. “I could tell you we can make this work long distance and I’ll call you every day. I could say many things to make this easier. But I’m not that type of guy. I’m always honest and direct. And I’m telling you I don’t know what the future holds. I would ask you to come with me, but I know you have Sky and you need to graduate. You are just now finding your footing here and I’d hate to take it all away from you. I couldn’t live with myself if I did. So, I would rather we end this here and we can both focus on our future.”

I stared at him, tears clouding my vision and I tried to blink the tears away. I didn’t want to cry. I didn’t want to make this harder for both of us.

Pain was written all over Aiden’s beautiful face as he took in my expression. His brows connected and hurt morphed his face into a grimace. “Please don’t cry… I never meant to hurt you…”

“I know,” I whispered, wiping under my eyes. “I know we were living on borrowed time and that this couldn’t last. I knew it from the first time we kissed, but I didn’t expect this to hurt this much. I didn’t expect to fall this much in love with you. But I did…” I took in a ragged breath. “I’m sorry.”

Aiden reached over the console and hugged me to him, holding me like his life depended on it. Pushing his face into my hair, I felt wet tears fall from his eyes.

“I love you too, baby,” he muttered quietly, his voice trembling too. “But I can’t do this to you and Sky. I can’t be that selfish to ask you to choose between him and I, when you never for a second would ask me to choose between you and my career. It wouldn’t be fair.”

“I would never ask you to pick,” I wept into his chest.

“Just like I couldn’t ask you to leave him,” he muttered, planting kisses on the top of my head.

We sat there in the car, embracing each other for the last time, neither of us ready to let go yet.

“I’m sorry you lost LA Galaxy because of me,” I said, wanting to get rid of all my guilt piling up. If we were to give each other closure it was best to do it fully.

“I’m sorry I blamed you for something that wasn’t your fault. I was mad, I needed to blame someone because I couldn’t take it being my fault. But you prepared me for him, I just didn’t think it was going to be that hard to listen to him trash you and not break in his face,” Aiden gritted his teeth as he spoke. “But I’m glad you and Elliot took care of him.”

“You still lost your chance with them and the Championship,” I sobbed.

Aiden lifted my head and looked deep into my cried-out eyes. “I wouldn’t change a thing. He deserved that… and despite part of me hating this new turn my life is taking... the other part of me…”

“Is happy,” I finished his sentence and cupping his face, I leaned in to kiss him. There was nothing romantic about that kiss. It was sloppy, wet from tears and painful. We were saying goodbye without words as we ran out of the things we could say out loud.

We made silent promises to each other through our entangled tongues that maybe one day we will end up together. We wordlessly begged each other to not move on and not fall in love with anyone else.

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