Page 48 of The Sky Between Us

“Sure,” I managed to say, sounding not even remotely upset. “Let’s go.”

Hazel opened her mouth, as if she wanted to say something else, anything to ease the pain of her words or to explain to me what was going on, but she changed her mind, and with a small shake of her head she dropped her arms from around me and walked backwards to the stairs.

Like a hypnotized zombie I followed her to the second floor, where I didn’t get the tour, but it wasn’t as complicated. Everything was the same as the style downstairs. All grey and high ceiling. The door on the right read ‘Sky’ with a wooden plate and a soccer ball sticker, and based on how determined Hazel’s walk was towards the door on the end of the hallway, I assumed it belonged to her. The soft carpet swallowed my feet with every step I took towards whatever destiny Hazel had in mind for our only now developing relationship.

Shame, she couldn’t have given us a bigger chance.

The door squeaked as she pushed it open and without looking back, she disappeared inside a painfully plain and boring room. The white walls were bare, screaming at me as I walked in, closing the door behind me and looking around.

The white oak desk stood empty, with only three books stacked in the corner. There was a big door opening onto the balcony with a white wooden sofa with white cushions. My eyes travelled further, taking in the white wardrobe, dresser and settling on the bed where she was sitting cross legged and anxious. Her hand trembled and eyes watered as she silently watched me take in her surroundings.

“It’s…” I wanted to say something, but nothing came to mind.

Hazel shrugged and nodded. “I know. I told you, we moved here when I started college. This isn’t my childhood bedroom, nor any special place. Just a room.”

It was my turn to nod as my eyes continued their trip through the room looking for anything that reminded me of her. But not even the pink pillows decorated with till made this place feel lived in. My room was bare too, but at least people could feel my presence. This room felt like a guest room. It almost seemed like Hazel didn’t even exist.

“Sit, please,” she said, her voice raspy from the emotions she held back. “I promise not to keep you long…”

Dropping on the end of the bed, I studied her pained face. What was going on in her mind? Hazel seemed distressed, she didn’t look like someone who wanted to break up, but then again, I never experienced a breakup before. She seemed like she was in great pain.

She took a deep breath, closing her eyes and I assumed she was mentally counting to ten before she opened them again and those hazel eyes settled on me. A bit more calmly and very guardedly, her tongue poked out and she wetted her lips.

“I don’t really know how to tell you this. I never had to think about it before, nor did I ever want to think about this. But I realize it’s wrong for me to lead you on, because there is no way in hell we can move on and be more intimate if you don’t know this, but at the same time it might make you not want me at all, which is totally fine, I understand. I just know, I need to tell you.”

I watched her go around and around yet not telling me anything. My mind went blank and I didn’t know what to say. Besides the obvious.

“Just tell me.”

Hazel looked at me, really looked at me, like she was seeing me for the first time. Or the last. Her eyes burned my face as she slowly studied every inch of it, taking in the tiny scar on my forehead, my totally messy and untamable hair and finally settled back on my eyes.

Resignation rolled off of her, her eyes shutting down, like I’ve seen them do many times before. She was retreating back into the castle she built and leaving me standing outside.

But why?

“Hazel?” I reached out to her immediately, but she pulled away, hugging herself. I watched as one single teardrop fell from her eye, before she closed them and one last shiver ran through her, before she spoke.

“Sky is my son.”

Chapter 11

There.

I said it.

The hardest sentence I’ve ever had to say. One that I’ve never said out loud in my life. It was out there. Plain and simple, just like the room surrounding us. There was no taking it back. It was definite.

Silence stretched between us and it was suffocating me. My throat closed up and tears kept piling up in the corner of my eye. I was a mess, when I promised myself, no guy will ever leave me like this. I never wanted to let anyone close enough again, but then Aiden came and I lost this fight. We lived on borrowed time, and my dad was ultimately right. He needed to know the truth and decide for himself. I wished I had more hope in him and in us, but I knew soccer players way too well. Nothing could come between them and their career.

Aiden’s face was unreadable after the first shock. He rearranged his expression and sat in front of me on the bed, his head bent, staring at the comforter. Complete radio silence from his side after my confession, but I didn’t blame him. What does anyone say to this? Congratulations? Good for you? Or maybe even: is this a joke? I never tried it, so I had no experience, just my overactive imagination drawing up worst case scenarios. At least he was still sitting there. He could have easily stormed out and never looked back.

Biting my tongue, I forced myself to give him time to process and digging my nails into my arm, I willed it not to reach out to him. My body was seeking him out, but my mind shut down every advancement crossing it. He needed space from me to digest.

Mentally, I started counting to one hundred, painfully, slowly to make sure to give him time and space. I needed to be understanding as this was a heavy pill to swallow. Not many girls my age have a kid in the deal. At least not someone else’s kid. A laugh almost escaped me thinking my confession was just the tip of the iceberg. There was still the cherry on the top waiting for him, if he wanted to hear it.

Glancing at him to see if I could read something off his expression, I was met with diamond blue eyes already waiting for me. The blue in his eyes shimmered and various emotions swam in there. Pain, hurt and sadness. My heart ached for him as I tentatively placed my hand between us on the bed.

Aiden’s eyes fell to it, watching it as my fingers carefully inched closer to him, but before they did, he wrapped his hand around mine and bringing it up to his lips, pressed a kiss on my palm. Electricity rushed through my body as his lips met my skin and the corner of my mouth tipped up automatically. It was my go-to reaction for Aiden.

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