Page 86 of Let's Pretend I'm Okay

“Hey,” I say, heart sinking because I know Margo isn’t going to keep talking to me about this with her sister here.

Margo starts to gather her things.

“Where are you going?” Annie asks.

“I forgot I need to print something off in the computer lab before my next class. Could you keep Daniel company?”

My jaw locks, and I rub the back of my neck to keep myself from saying what’s on my mind.

“Sure,” Annie says.

Margo rushes off, leaving the two of us awkwardly staring at our lunches. This isn’t the same as sitting with Margo. This silence isn’t peaceful. It’s loud and abrasive. This won’t do.

Annie clears her throat after a minute. “Did you start reading the book you bought yesterday—”

“I like Margo.”

I didn’t mean for it to slip out the way it did, but I can’t do this. I can’t pretend to like Annie when I don’t. It’s not fair to her. She looks like a nice girl who doesn’t deserve to have her heart strung along.

Annie swallows whatever she was about to say before I interrupted her. “Oh.” She shifts, picking up her fork andsetting it back down. “Yeah, Margo is— Uh, that makes sense. Of course you like Margo.”

“I’m sorry, Annie.”

“Don’t be.” She stands up. “I just need to— I have to go.” She leaves almost as fast as Margo, but she leaves her tray of food behind.

I groan. What did I do? She’s probably running off to find Margo, and Margo is never going to talk to me again after this. I smack the table and dash out of the cafeteria. I have to explain to Margo why I did it.

I expect to see Annie on the way, but the hallway is empty. I run straight into the computer lab. The only person inside is Margo, seated at the front of the room. I trudge toward her. “Where’s Annie?”

Margo spins around. “What do you mean? I left you two alone to talk.”

I should bite my tongue, but I’d rather have Margo hear it from me than Annie. “I told her.”

She narrows her eyes, which I’ve noticed seems to be becoming her normal response to me lately. “You did what?”

My gaze shies away and heat rises to my face. “I told her I liked you.”

“You fool!” she says, jumping up, hitting my arm. “Why would you do that?”

“Because it’s the truth, Margo!” My gaze focuses back on her as my chest heaves.

Her face turns bright red, and her hands are balled up into fists at her sides. “Well, you can’t like me! I already told you that!”

I shake my head. “Give me a good reason why I can’t. And don’t tell me it’s complicated. Don’t tell me it’s because of Annie. Am I not good enough for you? Is that it? Do Iembarrass you? Do I not fit the perfect picture you have for yourself in your head?”

Tears prick at the corners of her eyes, and she takes a deep breath. “It’s not like that.”

“Then why can’t I like you!” Why does everyone I care about push me away? I don’t understand why I’m so hard to love.

She opens her mouth to speak, but she doesn’t say anything right away. Then, she whispers, “Because I’m dying.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

MARGO

His brow pinches together, and he staggers back slightly. “This isn’t the time for a sick joke like that.”

I look him straight in the eyes so he can see how honest I am. “I’m not making it up. It’s not a joke.”

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