Page 54 of Let's Pretend I'm Okay

“Hey,” she says, walking back into the room.

“What are you doing up already?” I ask.

She’s fully dressed and ready. She’s wearing layered T-shirts and green straight-legged pants. She sits down on the corner of her bed. “How am I supposed to sleep when all I can think about is going to see Broken Sage?” Her smile disappears the longer she stares at me. “Are you okay? You don’t look so good.”

“It’s nothing. I just woke up with a headache.” Not to mention the piercing pain in my chest and the ringing in my ears.

“Maybe you should stay home.”

I hate staying home. I’m supposed to be acting like everything’s normal, and staying home sleeping would mean wasting a whole day. “I’m okay, I’ll take something, and it’ll go away soon. I don’t want you to be alone.”

“I know we shared a womb and all, but we don’t have to be together all the time.”

“You sure you don’t mind? Who are you going to eat lunch with?”

“You don’t have to worry about me. I’m not a baby. Now, go back to bed. Missing one day is not the end of the world. Besides, Mama’s been acting down lately and doting on you is one of her favorite hobbies.”

She’s not wrong. And Mama did seem like she needed time with me yesterday. Maybe staying homeoneday couldn’t hurt, and it’s Friday, so I’ll have all weekend with Annie to make up for ditching her at school.

Annie stands up and steers me back to my pillow. “I’ll go talk to Mama, so lie down and rest.”

I crawl into bed and drift back to sleep before Annie is out the door.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

DANIEL

It’s strange. I’ve never thought seeing Margo’s empty seat next to me would bother me, but I don’t like it. I wonder what she’s doing. I wonder if she’s away working on the plan she boasts about. Or maybe she’s off finding something for somebody else.

I’ve never paid so much attention to where she sat in all three of our classes together, but now I can’t seem to look away. At first I hoped her absence was a fluke, that she’d show up at some point.

I can’t shake the curiosity building up in my mind. Does she really like me? Or did I make that up? Did I read into things too much? I want to know. And if it’s true, I have to know why. I came to school with the sole intention of interrogating her, and the fact that she isn’t here really throws a wrench in my day. I couldn’t sleep last night, which in itself isn’t abnormal, but now I’m also wide awake in class staring at her chair. How am I supposed to wait until Monday to see her again? How could she do this to me? She’s the reason Ican’t think about anything else. She had the audacity to drop bombs on me yesterday and then disappear.

This simply won’t do.

I spend the rest of class racking my brain on what to do. My head buzzes, my feet tap, and my stomach turns. It isn’t like I want to see her necessarily, but I want to know if I’m right. As I walk to the cafeteria for lunch, I spot my answer. I had almost forgotten about the girl who’s almost a carbon copy of her, but with longer hair and muted clothes.

There’s also something about the way she walks. It’s not like Margo. It’s timid, methodical, as if she’s trying to choose the quickest way to avoid others. Margo wouldn’t do that. She’d stand tall and proud, not afraid of what others think of her. She isn’t scared to be herself even if she isn’t following what’s popular. She wears her absurd earrings and embroidered jeans with such confidence I almost believe they’re in style.

I quicken my pace, following Annie into the cafeteria. She sits down at a table toward the back and before she opens her lunch box, she sets a book down in front of her. She flips through it until she lands on the page with the bookmark and pulls it out.

How do I talk to her? What should I say? I clearly didn’t think this through.

I step back, regretting my decision, when Annie looks up from her book. “Can I help you?”

My mouth opens, but I’m at a loss for words. I’m literally hovering over her table so it’s not like I can pretend I wasn’t about to talk to her. Anyone with more than two brain cells can tell that’s what I’m here to do. “Annie, right?”

She gingerly puts her bookmark back in the book andcloses it with a nod. I notice the faintest pink hue covering her cheeks. I’ve embarrassed her.

“Where’s Margo today?” I don’t mean for it to come out so blunt, but I’m not good at talking to other people. Besides, the sooner she answers my question, the sooner I can leave.

“Margo?” She stirs in her chair. “Yeah, she’s not feeling well today.”

How come that never crossed my mind? I assumed she was on some quest or adventure, ignoring me. “Oh.” That’s all that comes out of my stunned brain. I don’t know what to do with that information. Is she going to be sick long? Will I have to wait longer than Monday to see her?

“Did you need to talk to her?” Annie asks.

“Yes, I...” It’s not like I can come out and say what’s been on my mind. I don’t want to tell another person about my dad. That’s too personal. And I can’t tell her I think Margo likes me. That feels awkward. “She’s my science partner. I have a question for her.”

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