Page 123 of Let's Pretend I'm Okay

I rub the back of my neck. “Don’t you think it’s a little too much?”

“I think it would look amazing,” Olive says.

Laura hasn’t said much. I notice her going through the suits behind Olive, and she pauses when she looks at the price tag. It’s a subtle grimace that most people would probably ignore, but I know she’s concerned.

I hang the suit back up. “I want something a little more casual.”

Olive huffs. “Casual?”

“It can still be nice.”

“Mom, tell him he needs to dress up,” Olive says, turning to Laura.

Laura smiles. “Why don’t you compromise.” She pulls out a dark blue blazer. “If you wear a nice shirt with this, it’ll be perfect.”

“That’s not bad,” Olive says. “I’m going to go find a shirt.”

I take the blazer. The fabric is nice and smooth. I normally prefer black, but this color feels more like Margo. I like that. The price is a lot less than the suit, but it still isn’t cheap. “Are you sure this is okay? You don’t have to buy me new clothes. I can wear some of the other ones you bought me.”

Laura raises an eyebrow and crosses her arms. “Why would you say that?”

I stare down at the tag again. “It’s expensive.”

“So?”

“If it’s too much, you don’t have to buy it.”

Her face softens. “If I couldn’t afford it, I wouldn’t have brought you here.”

Olive comes running back with a white dress shirt. “I found one,” she says, smiling.

Laura takes it and hands it to me. “Go try these on.”

I take the clothes, but I’m not completely convinced. Laura and Rob have never talked about being tight on money before, so maybe I’m reading into things too much. Or maybe they’re trying to save with a new baby coming.

The dressing room is a little crowded. I wait my turn as Olive and Laura keep looking around.

“Make sure you show us what it looks like,” Olive calls.

I nod with a soft smile.

Once it’s my turn, I lock myself in the dressing room and pull my shirt over my head. I put on the white dress shirt, buttoning it up to the top button. Then I slip into the blazer. I pull it straight and smooth it as I stare in the mirror.

My heart skips thinking about Margo standing next to me. I think she’d like this, and I want to impress her every chance I get. I want to be a better person for her. I want to deserve her.

Before stepping out, I ruffle my hair, trying to picture how it’ll look when it’s styled, but it doesn’t do any good. Olive is probably going to have to help me with it again.

Olive and Laura are both looking at clothes again, pulling random outfits for me to try. I don’t say anything. I’m too busy watching them laughing and smiling as they pick out my clothes. I wonder if this is what it would’ve felt like to go shopping with my mother if she were still here. Would she smile and laugh the same way?

Laura notices me standing off to the side. She gasps, walking closer. “Well, don’t you look handsome.”

Olive squeals, running up. The pile of clothes in her arms is almost overflowing. “This looks so good.”

“Yeah?” I turn to make sure they can see the whole outfit.

“You look so grown up,” Laura says. “Never mind. You’re growing up too fast. I don’t think we should get it.”

“Mom!” Olive says. She shakes her head and turns to me. “Ignore her.”

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