Page 83 of Let's Pretend I'm Okay

“Sometimes things aren’t as black and white as we think they are.”

“This is.” I’m not going to get any closer to Daniel. I’m going to leave enough people behind. I don’t need to add to the list.

He reaches over and pats my hand. “All I’m saying is you don’t have to give in every time.”

“Okay, Papa,” I say. “You better eat up before it gets cold.”

He starts to eat, even though I can tell he wants to say more.

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

DANIEL

She doesn’t mean it. She can’t. Shepausedwhen she told me I wasn’t her type.

It’s almost midnight, but I can’t sleep. There has to be more to how she feels. So what if her sister likes me? She doesn’t really know me. Margo does. Or at least she’s starting to, and I don’t let people get to know me.

I eye my messenger bag across the room. Margo said I wasn’t her type, but what if I can be her type? I’ve been the straight A student before. I’ve been the boy who dresses nice and never talks back. I can do it again. I walk over and take out our latest assignment with her notes scribbled all over it. Then, I set it down on the desk and start figuring out the answers. This is nothing compared to what I did at my old school.

Even though it’s easy, it still takes me an hour to work through. I make sure my penmanship is legible and neat. I want Margo to see what I’m capable of—my best. I want to show her I can be good enough. I can be the boy she wants.

I force myself to go to sleep, and my brain wanders intomy dreams. Into Margo’s dream where it’s peaceful and sunny.

She always pulls my hand, begging me to follow her into the field of flowers. She lies down and stares up at the sky, talking way too much, like normal, as I admire her smile.

“Daniel.”

I swear I almost hear her actual voice. It sounds real, not like I’m hearing a dream.

“Daniel, it’s time to wake up.”

I pry my eyes open.

Olive is standing at the entrance to my room. “It’s about time.”

It’s already seven thirty. I jerk up. “I’m going to be late.”

“It’s okay. Mom’s going to drive us. Just get ready,” Olive says, ducking out of the room so I can change.

I rush to put on my clothes, but pause. I open the drawer where the rest of the clothes Laura bought are. They’re nice clothes, but a little more colorful than I usually wear. They’re exactly what I need. I have to make a good impression.

I shove my homework into my messenger bag and brush my teeth before racing to the car, where Laura is waiting with a breakfast sandwich for me.

“Thanks,” I mumble as I take it from her.

“You look nice,” she says.

“Thank you,” I reply. I’m so flustered I don’t sulk at the compliment. We have to get to school before the morning bell. I can’t start today off by being late. That isn’t the message I want to send Margo. That’s the normal me. Not the improved version.

Laura smiles and pulls out of the driveway. “If you need any other clothes, just let me know.”

I stare down at the outfit. “This is good for now.”

She nods. “I’m just saying if you change your mind, don’t be scared to tell me.”

“Okay,” I say.

Laura turns on the radio and hums to the music. I stare out the window, clutching my bag close, never letting myself be too comfortable around her.

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