Page 32 of Let's Pretend I'm Okay

“Mm-hmm.”

“Liar,” I say, looping my cherry earrings into place. I bob my head, letting them sway back and forth. “I love them.”

“Well, you are one of the only people who can pull them off and look good.”

“We literally have the same face.”

She waves her finger. “Nuh-uh. Don’t even start. I already said no.”

I sigh. “Okay, your loss.”

She grabs her backpack. “So why do we have to go in so early today?”

Because I’m going to find Daniel the second he steps in the building and confront him. “I have to talk to my physics teacher about the assignment I’m working on.”

I do have to talk to my physics teacher at some point today because I couldn’t figure out one of the answers to our homework, so it’s not too suspicious. Lies are always more believable when you base them on a true statement.

“I’m glad I opted out of physics. Just the thought of it makes my brain hurt.”

I take her arm and pull her along. “How is botany?”

“I’ve never paid attention to flowers this much in my life.”

I laugh as we head out of the room and down the hallway for breakfast.

CHAPTER NINE

DANIEL

“I won’t go. You can’t make me!” I had yelled at Grandma during one of her more lucid moments. Her memory had only gotten worse over the next few weeks.

“I don’t want you to go either, but you have to,” she said.

I shook my head. “No! If you wanted me, you wouldn’t be giving up on us like this. You’d find a way.”

“They’re right. I can’t take care of you anymore—”

“But I can take care of us!” I had been doing that for months. I was the one making sure the bills were paid on time. I was the one cleaning the house. I was the one making sure Grandma was fed every meal.

Grandma looked down. “No. I’m not going to ask you to do that.”

My eyes stung. “Just say it. Say you don’t want me anymore.”

“I never said that.”

“But it’s true. You want an excuse to get rid of me.”

She never acted like she wanted me around. I was a burden. That’s why she never let me have friends or doanything other than studying and doing chores. I thought if I tried hard enough, eventually she’d tell me that I was doing a good job, that she loved me. But maybe she never did.

Grandma tried to reach out to me, but I wouldn’t let her touch me. “Leave me alone! You already said you don’t want me anymore.”

“That’s not what I said!”

“If you wanted me, you’d try harder to stop them from taking me!”

I jerk up in bed, breathing heavy with sweaty palms. The red numbers on the alarm clock shine bright. It’s not time to get up yet, but I know I won’t be able to sleep anymore.

My eyes adjust to the light, letting the rest of the room come into focus. I reach for my clothes sitting on the desk chair next to my bed. I always have my things ready to go—no permanent roots and always ready to flee.

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