Page 1 of Let's Pretend I'm Okay

CHAPTER ONE

DANIEL

Three months before school

I get out of the car, but I don’t step forward. My head hurts from the air freshener Laura has plugged into the car vents. Cracking the window open didn’t help because once the hot air blew in, Laura turned up the air conditioning. I could’ve told her the smell bothered me, but I didn’t.

She comes around the side of the car and smiles. Her brown hair is pulled into a tight ponytail with a thick headband holding back her bangs, and she wears a light blue tracksuit. I wonder if she was running before she picked me up or if this is how she always dresses.

“This is our home,” she says, gesturing toward a yellow ranch with a long driveway. She reaches for my bag. “Let me help you with that.”

I jerk it away from her. “I got it.”

Her hands awkwardly fall to her sides. “Of course.”

This is Laura Miller, a cousin I’ve only ever met in passing, and now I’m expected to live with her and her family. Sheseems well meaning, but I know she’ll get tired of me. Everyone does. My mother didn’t even want me. She abandoned me when I was two years old and left me with my grandmother. Grandma left me too, in another way. She has dementia, but I don’t think she really wanted me either.

I follow Laura into the house.

There’s a girl who looks a few years younger than me waiting next to the door. She has long blonde hair that reaches below her waist, and she has way too much pink eyeshadow on.

“This is my daughter,” Laura says. “She’ll be going to the same high school as you in the fall. She’ll be a freshman.”

“Hi, I’m Olive,” she says, grinning and holding out her hand.

I stare at her hand, but I don’t grab it. “I’m Daniel.”

“I know,” she says. “I got your room all ready. Want to see?” She doesn’t give me a chance to answer, but she grabs me and leads me down the hallway.

“This is my room,” she says, pointing to a bright purple door. “And this is yours.” She knocks on the door to the left before opening it.

There’s a man sitting at a desk in the corner of the room. He jumps up. “Hi, I’m Rob. You must be Daniel,” he says. He grabs a few papers off the desk and tucks in the chair. “We’ll have to share this space a little bit. I hope you don’t mind. I’ll try and stay out of your way most of the time.”

I nod, realizing my room is actually Rob’s office. They stuffed a bed and dresser into it for me, but the desk and a bookcase full of books for Rob make the bed seem like an afterthought. It would be so easy for them to take it out and let this room go back to the way it was. It’s not really mine.

Rob pats my shoulder. “Go ahead and make yourself at home.” Then he walks out.

Laura walks in and opens one of the drawers on the dresser. “I bought some new clothes for you, but if you don’t like them, I can return them and we can buy something else.”

My clothes are worn with holes and fading colors, but I don’t want to wear the clothes she bought. I don’t want her to think I need or want their help. I won’t be here much longer anyway because once I turn eighteen, I plan to leave.

She runs over to the bed and fluffs the pillows. “These are new sheets. I wasn’t sure which color you liked, so I bought a gray set and a blue set.”

“Thanks,” I mumble.

Laura sets the last pillow back down. “I’m going to start dinner, but let me know if you need anything. I’ll just be in the kitchen.” She gives me a soft smile before leaving the room.

I expect Olive to leave too, but she stays and sits down on the corner of my bed. “You didn’t bring much. Do you have more coming?”

I shake my head.

“Oh.” She pauses, eyes darting around the room like she’s trying to think of another conversation starter. “I’m excited we’ll be in the same school. We can sit together at lunch and hang out. It’ll be fun.”

“I’m not going to do that.”

Her brow furrows. “Why not?”

“Why would I?”

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